Make The Move

Are  you interested in someone but have no idea how to approach them? Are you afraid they may reject you? Do you fear that someone else will snatch them up and you will miss out on the opportunity to meet that person? Do you feel as if that individual is your soulmate, your other half, the one you have waited for your entire life? How would your life be if you never did meet them?

I can remember being afraid to meet someone that I was so attracted to because I didn’t feel that he would ever want to be with me and so I played stupid, silly games until I lost my chance and he hooked up with someone else. They ended up getting married and raising  a family and then the big D ended their relationship. Unfortunately for me I had married also and was raising a family at the time.

I wonder to this day what could have been what would have been and I kick myself in the ass for not going after the man I loved and new was perfect for me. I just could not destroy my young children’s life or so I thought that is what I would have done if I had gone for the big D.  I look  back and I constantly wonder where my life would be today if I had hooked up with him and now I cannot go back and find out.

If you ever wonder if that person you think of is for you I urge you to go for it because we do not constantly think about another person for no reason, we do not dream of that person or wish we were with them for no reason. There is fate and there are soulmates but you have to go for it because shit just doesn’t happen without someone doing something to move things forward.

There is someone I have thought about for years and I do feel that he is my soulmate but I cannot force his hand and I can do nothing to make him step up to the plate. He has got to want to do that himself, he has got to make the right moves and he has got to get his head out of his ass and come to me, make a move on me and make an attempt to see where we would go together.

I’m smart enough to know my soulmate but I will not sit around collecting dust waiting for him, I am meeting other men and enjoying my life and the time I spend with them. I don’t need a rich man I just need a man that will love me as much as I will love him and share our lives together making beautiful music. Even a roofer can make me happy as I am currently experiencing.

What Matters

I’m not to much of a judgemental person but when it comes to working I look at a person’s position several different ways. If you are over thirty and working at a fast food place or a bar then I look at you as someone who has no desire to better themselves, that is if you are not attending college. I have attended college but had to quit because of my husband’s health issues and I can no longer afford to go back but I’m working on that.

I think it’s important to always try to better ourselves and I am working on my health issues starting with losing weight and quitting smoking. I have started to walk 2 miles a day and would like to walk more but my left ankle starts to hurt half way through my walk and my knee has bothered me for about six months but I have no desire to go to the dr. as I hate doctors.

As I was doing my daily walk I walked past a house getting a new roof and I got a hold of the company to replace mine as well. The guy that came out to the house really attracted me and he has been back several times to seal the deal.  We chatted and after several meetings he ended up asking me out. He isn’t rich but does make a decent living which is all I ask.

We went out yesterday and I had such a great time as we went canoeing down a local river and had a picnic, now that was fun real fun for me but most would think it would be boring. I have to say I honestly enjoyed my time with him more than when I was in Toronto with Francisco and I feel a connection with this guy which is strange since I only went out with him once.

We have made plans to go out again and this is the type of guy I really like because he doesn’t have it all but he is a damn hard working man. Francisco is seeing someone else and boning her which keeps me from wanting to go to bed with him but Mike, well he isn’t seeing anyone else and he’s going through a divorce. He caught his wife red-handed screwing his best friend and we know how often that happens in today’s world.

I figure it this way, my body is my body and I will do what I wish with it when I wish to do it and nobody will force me into sex and if they chose not to see me because I won’t screw them, well screw them. All that really matters is that I am happy and then everything else will fall into place as it should. I’m moving forward and enjoying life but I still feel empty and lonely because I havent met the right man for me as of yet, but who knows maybe Mike will be the man but Im in no hurry to build a relationship and take each day as it comes.

The Only One

I was married for eighteen years and in that time I came to rely on my husband for support, conversation, to care for me when I was ill, to confide in, to trust and so on. I miss not having someone to talk to about day to day things, my job, my problems, my worries, my hopes and dreams. I miss having a warm body to cuddle up to and someone who will just listen.

We get into a routine with our significant other and when they are gone we are forced to start new routines if we like to or not we are forced into a new way of life which includes eating alone, watching tv alone, taking walks alone, relying on ourselves to make good judgement calls and decision and so on. This isn’t something we want or desire and it is not a normal way of life, not for me at least.

I have a difficult being alone as I am not growing as a person at the rate I should be and yes I am seeing someone but that someone may have the bells to offer me but there are no whistles. It is so lonely for me as I do not feel that cemented connection that I require to grow as one with someone and he is seeing other women as well which is fine with me but I know we will go nowhere but a good time.

I could easily fall into bed with him and probably have great sex but that is all there would or ever could be and that isn’t me. I so want to share my life and body with someone who I can “click” with, that man who is my other half, the man who I want to mentally as well as sexually arouse. I lie in bed at night and I think to myself about that one special man who is in this world just waiting to meet me, become great friends and lovers and share a common bond.

Am I the only one that dreams of these things? Am I the only that goes through the day looking forward to nightfall so I can sleep away my troubles, worries and loneliness? Am I the only one that cries into my pillow because there is no one I trust enough to cry on their shoulder? Am I the only one that wants to be loved and to love so my life would feel fulfilled? 

Am I the only one?