Cheeks

Mike and I went fishing earlier today for walleye and I out fished him lol, we went further out and caught some perch as well and I really enjoyed being on the water. We filleted them and took their cheeks, yes walleye cheeks are a delicacy that not many know of and when you  saute them in butter they are so yummy. I wanted to fish naked but thought against that as Mike might of fell out of the boat, lmao.

He was surprised to see that I could actually fish and I did what I usually do, kick back and let the fish jump on my hook. I was waiting for him to tell me I smelled like fish when we were done but that punch line went unsaid. Mike is funny, intelligent and just a nice guy in general and I am so lucky to have met such a great guy, he has a couple of very young kids which is fine because I like kids and he takes his sons out fishing quite a bit.

He seems to be such a great dad from the things he tells me but how would I know anything different? I am not judging him in the least as I listen intently when he talks and I try to read between the lines but I have found nothing there as of yet. He appears to be quite genuine and honest but I still have my guard up. I have learned some very hard lessons in my life and trusting people or should I say not trusting them is one of them.

We were talking and I told him I want to start lifting weights when I lose more weight and he has offered to coach me as he lifts every day. No, I am not trying to get on his good side and pretend to be into things he is as most women will pretend when they know the guy they are seeing is into something like football, women will pretend to like the game when they actually hate it but I’m not that way, if I don’t like it I just don’t like it but I won’t stop you from enjoying it and yes I will sit next to you  as you get excited over the game.

I am not perfect and rarely speak of my down falls and yes I know it’s hard to believe that I am anything but the perfect woman, cough, cough. I am not a very patient person for one thing and I have numerous flaws but in the main I am a very good woman and person. My personality is what attracts people not my big ass I can tell you but I would rather have personality than be a beautiful woman any day.

In The Air

I love county fairs as I get to see the local live stock, vegetables, baking, sewing ect. and I get to nibble on the fair foods that you can only get a the fair. There are concerts and demolition derby’s which I just really enjoy. As I was growing up I spent every summer Saturday at the local speedway watching the cars go around the track and my favorite was always the figure eight races.

Francisco called early in the day yesterday and wanted to know if I wanted to “shoot out to Colorado” with him and we would have dinner but Mike had already asked me if I wanted to go to the local fair. I accepted the fair offer because I like those types of evenings and Francisco has got it in his pea brain that I will drop what ever I am doing to experience was he has to offer.

Yes, it is always nice to go out with a rich a but the regular guy is fun in his own right and going to the fair was fun. We ate dinner there which in no way can compare to the ritzy dinners with Francisco but that is fine because you can eat fancy anytime but the fair, well that only happens once a year. We went on a few rides but the ferris wheel was my favorite especially at night.

When you’re high up you can see over the entire fair and the midway is so lit up and pretty and when you go around slowly you can always play kissy face and as the night air cools then you get your man’s arm around you pulling you close and it’s just a special time, special feeling. I had asked Francisco if he wanted to go to the fair and he wasn’t interested so when Mike asked I jumped like a leap frog.

Both guys are fun and unique but I am finding myself to be drawn in by Mike, I find him to be a lot like myself and he appreciates a lot of the same things as I do. I really enjoyed just walking hand in hand through the fair and we laughed and joked like we had known each other forever. Mike isn’t a rich man in dollars but personality he has tons of and that is what is so attractive about him.

He’s a tall one 6’4″ and muscular from his work and he is a gentle giant in so many ways and his kisses, well ooo la la baby boy can he kiss! I love romance and those gentle kisses and kissing is something I so adore and a great kisser is always a plus in my book. It’s odd how there hasn’t been any men in my life and all of a sudden I meet a couple of nice guys and then poof there is no one in my life again and the cycle repeats itself.

You can only hold your heart prisoner for that one special person for only so long and then you have to cut them lose and move on because they refuse to make a move on you. It’s not easy letting go but sometimes you have no choice and that is where I find myself. The one that I have cared for, for years will never step up to the plate so I have moved on but still think of him and want the best for him.

Looking back I can honestly say that I am glad I have never met him because I am not where I need to be but am working towards my goals and maybe one day both of us will be ready to meet each other and maybe we will never meet. Life has it’s own game plan and every choice we make brings us to exactly where we need to be when we need it and nothing happens for no reason, or so I believe.

When I look in the mirror these days I see myself slowing changing as I drop the weight pound by pound and I can see it in my face and feel it in the looseness of my clothing and I am accomplishing what I have set out to do. Yes, it’s going to take about nine months before I am where I want to be physically but that’s ok because all I have is time to make myself the best I can be.

If he doesn’t want to be with me because of my weight well then he won’t be with me when I am thin because that screams negativity about his personal views of others. You can be over weight and still be a beautiful person and that is how I see myself. I lost another three pounds since I started walking two weeks ago and it takes time but I am going to be a beautiful woman physically once again and that will make me love who I am to a certain point.

He values his relationships and I do not believe he would ever cheat and he is no doubt involved with someone and I hope he is a happy man even though I do not believe he is over joyed I believe he is content and prefers to live that way at this point in his life. He is a man who loves beauty and the finer things in life and I doubt he would ever be caught dead with a “fat girl” on his arm. I am who I am and getting better everyday and before long he is going to wish he had made all the right moves as this fat girl becomes thin and beautiful once again.

I can understand him wanting a beautiful woman on his arm and in his bed and even I am not attracted to overweight men so I guess I cannot blame him. So many tell me I do not look anywhere near my age so once I lose this extra person I have been carrying around I will turn many heads I have no doubt.The best thing about me is I am real and have a good heart and care deeply about others and how many people are like that in this world? Very few I must say sadly.