Why They Stay

So many of us stay in bad relationships or marriages because we fear going it alone, financial stability, our children and we fear being alone. We fail to realize that staying in a bad relationship is unhealthy for all involved and our children can tell things are not good between their parents. I think the biggest fear is going it alone and wondering if anyone will ever love us again, especially men.

I think it’s fair to say that many men remain in bad marriages because the specter of divorce is simply too painful to contemplate, let alone make that first call to a divorce lawyer. Knowing ahead of time that the pain is going to be extreme does not make it appealing, no matter how bad the marriage.

There is an emotional downside for men who remain in a bad marriage that far outweighs the pain of divorce. A man who wakes up each morning and looks over at a woman he despises isn’t ever going to have a good day. He is going to spend his day wondering why he continues on such a painful path. His kids suffer because his emotional state is so tense and raw, that he can’t relate to them very well.

Men more often than not need to know there is a warm bed waiting for them when they depart a marriage. They need to know that another woman will love them and fulfill them and they need to know that their kids will not hate them even though kids do go through emotional changes. Kids bounce back from divorce just as their parents do and yes it takes time.

If the parents can act mature without slamming each other in front of their children then the child can adjust quicker. Children know when their parents are no longer happy together and some kids want their parents to divorce so there is no more tension to live with. Kids want to see their parents together and happy but when the happiness is gone for the parents it is also gone for the kids.

Know one thing, if you choose divorce you will find someone else to love, yes you will over time, your life will change for the better in many ways but there are sacrifices that cannot be avoided and you must be prepared for that. Do not stay in a bad relationship for appearances because frankly no one lives your life but you and others opinions are of no importance.


Parent Scare

As a parent we do all we can for our children and protecting them is number one in our books. We must watch over our children with an eagle eye because there are people out there that want to hurt our kids, take advantage of them and use them for their own sick pleasure. Our sons and daughters are living in a world of danger, a world of twisted and very sick individuals.

Our children get online and they are seeking innocent fun, innocent and friendly relationships with other kids that understand them. They are unaware that there are predators online that want to take their innocence and they want to take a simple child’s dream and turn it into a parents worse nightmare. Our children are at risk every second of every day and parents that think their children are always safe are quite naive at best.

Our sons and daughters live in a cruel world, a world where other children are bullies, drug pushers and sexually predators. You think your child is safe from the ugliness of the world? You  think all of your childrens friends are like your own innocent child? You think no one will ever harm your child? Open your eyes and take a good look, look past your child and into who and what is surrounding them.

Take a real good look at your child’s friends, not all of their friends are “good” friends at all,  they want something from your child, they want to manipulate your child for their own selfish reasons and yes they will end up hurting your child. This world has become a dog eat dog world and the world and peer pressure is always on the horizon of your child’s life.

Child suicide is rated number three among children 15-24 yrs of age and physical mutilation such as cutting is also on the rise. Parents need to take the time to listen to the words not being spoken by their kids, pay attention to behavior as the changes start out subtle at first and then escalate. Protect your child by being aware, paying attention and listening, always listen and never yell or criticize, keep the communication door open and encourage your child to talk to you, start the conversation and always be there for your child.