I am a very selective person when it comes to dating, don’t ask me why because I never had a father figure growing up and that is generally how we chose our interest in the opposite sex. As we grow up we come to learn that certain traits our opposite sex parent has are attractive to us.

We seek out these traits in the opposite sex as we grow up but what do you rely on when you do not have that opposite sex parent? I think we transfer the traits we admire in the same sex parent to the type of individual we look for in adulthood. I do not know what type of person I am looking for to fill my life and it seems I go for guys that I click with immediately.

It’s all about chemistry for me, not fame, not wealth, not a hot body, not age. Age means nothing to me because I click with so few people that age cannot be a barrier for me. I do stay away from men that are over ten years younger than myself because that age men that do not have children still want them and I do not.

I currently have one guy that has been trying to get me to go out with him for sometime but I just haven’t accepted his date as of yet. He is closer to my age and he seems to be a pretty solid individual but the problem I have is my shyness. I am really very shy until you get to know me and I’m really laid back most of the time, unless I get mad of course.

I do not look bad for my age and in fact am told quite often I do not look my age and as I continue to lose weight I am looking better and better. I’m not one to wear makeup often or to dress up as I  prefer jeans and t-shirts or sweatshirts and I prefer to stay at home rather than go out.

I prefer to take care of the man in my life and do for him and I rarely ask anyone for help because I have learned those that help you throw it in your face eventually. I did this for you so now you owe me seems to be typical of those that have helped me so I stay away from asking.  I think at this point in my life I prefer to have male friends than lovers even though I miss sex.

I am moving on slowly and leaving those behind me that have done nothing to enhance my life and it is for the best that I do so. I no longer have fantasies about anyone and I no longer have dreams, hopes or wishes because they have died. I have given up on the very few dreams I have because dreams do not come true and I am no Cinderella.

The Picture

I have quite a few men sending me pictures of their private parts as if I would get excited and want to jump their bones or so I assume. Years ago I had someone send me a naked pic of himself lieing on a lounge chair, his body completely shaved from the neck down and he used his thumb to keep his hardon standing up.

He had a look of naughtiness in his eyes and that is why I kept the picture all of these years. I have several copies of the pic backed up so I will never lose it and I no longer keep the pic on my computer because I do not need my kids to see it. He was quite attractive in that picture but now he is wearing his age on his sleeve.

He has stalked me online for years and has refused to meet me so I have finally had enough of his games and I no longer have any contact with him and do not want any. I have deleted him from the accounts that he contacts me on and I have also blocked him because I need piece of mind, I need to move on and with him always hanging around it has been almost impossible for me.

It’s funny the attraction I had for this man because quite frankly he isn’t all that attractive to me any longer and I no longer hold a candle for him. He has played with me like a top, keeping my head spinning with dreams and fantasies of one day meeting him but that is never going to happen so Im done.