Won’t Stay

When you invest your emotions and you get nothing in return then it becomes obvious that you will no longer stay, yep you won’t stay. I have cared for someone for years but using one of his pseudo names he contacted me and told me to forget my fantasies, forget my hopes, dreams and wishes so  I respect him enough to do just that. Now that I have let go he won’t which makes no sense to me.

You didn’t want me so I am gone as you have made it perfectly clear you shall never meet me and I have to respect what you have said to me and I am doing what is best for myself. I have no doubt I have made you very mad as well as made you laugh when you just didn’t want to and it is a shame things have turned out this way but what else can I do? I need to be loved, I need to be wanted and desired and I need a man’s arms around me.

I have been there for years and have watched you start and end a relationship and you probably are in a new one as we speak. I have tried to find the one person that will change my life, make me happy and make my life worth living. It’s easy to find a man even  though you may think not many are interested in me but you are so wrong. I have quite a few men interested in me but I have no interest in them.

I am now dealing with two men and no the relationships won’t be everlasting but at least I am not sitting waiting for you any longer. You can forget ever feeling my touch on your face, my kiss on your lips, my hands on your body and you can forget me and the pleasure I could have given you. I’m not talking sexually as that is a given I am talking about enjoying life with someone who likes you for you not what you could ever do or give to me.

Things may be difficult for me right now but that will change as does the shifting of the tides and the changing direction of the wind. You have made it perfectly clear that I will never be good enough for  you , thin enough or smart enough for you. You will always think you are better than I am and you will always think that a pretty face has a good heart and you will never be really happy, ecstatically happy with any woman because the woman for you is me and you damn well know it.

Off with you and good luck in trying to find that love that makes you tingle all over, the kind of love that makes you think of nothing but that person and the kind of love that everyone wishes they will one day find. You my dear, shall never find it no matter how hard you try and you will always settle for less than you deserve or what you could really have. I do not need you to make me feel pretty or desirable and I do not need to live a wealthy person’s life but you obviously do.