Sensual

I am a very sensual woman as well as sexual and I think the body is beautiful as is sex. To me sex isn’t getting it up and getting off, nope I think the entire body should be enjoyed and experienced and yes you should love to kiss and cuddle.  I like to give massages and touching and I like to run my fingers very lightly over a man’s body so he gets shivers and excited. To many people make sex out to be something ugly and gross when it is neither.

I like to satisfy my partner and oral sex is very important to reach that goal. There is nothing nasty or gross about oral sex unless of course the person isn’t clean and has nasty hygiene. You should never feel ashamed to ask for something sexual and being open with your partner is key to great sex. I believe in trying new things sexually and I believe two people should be able to communicate their sexual desires.

I believe in pleasing each other and sharing fantasies as well as desires because that builds a stronger relationship between two people. I like to take my time when I am sexually involved with someone and I like to make them moan and hear their desire. Maybe Im over sexed but I really do not think so as I feel that I have a very positive attitude towards sex. I also do not believe in having sex with more than one person, you date one person and stick with that person until things no longer work.

People are so quick to dump a relation and go after another one and so many people need to have someone else lined up before they leave their current relationship. I’ve never understood why people act that way and it’s as if they are so hung up on the security that a relationship gives them that they will stay just for that purpose. I have never ended one relationship and immediately jumped into another one because I think we need to deal with our current baggage and start a new relationship on solid ground.

If you are in a relationship that doesn’t fulfill you then you are wasting two people’s time and not just your own. There is always one that loves more, does more and gives more but there has to be a balance if you want the relationship to last. Staying with someone because they are physically attractive or have money is really sad and such a waste for both. Pretty ages and money does nothing more than buy possessions and I am not a possession.

Our Kids

I do not expect any man to take on the father role for my kids, first of all it is not his place and second my kids wouldn’t go for it anyway. I’m having a hell of a time with my son but he is just that, my son and I will deal with him the best way I can. He treats me like shit and he knows it all, yes he has the answers for everything like every other sixteen yr old. His latest bullshit is school as he wants to be done with high school and go on to college.

His friends tell him he can easily become emancipated and be on his own and this is bullshit of course but since he knows it all I let him think what he wants. He wants me to sign the papers for him, like that is NEVER going to happen because he is to immature for one thing, doesn’t have a job, car or a place to live so he’s stuck with his mother. He does what he wants and never listens to me so I just sit back and let him go.

If he ends up in trouble I will not help him get out of it because he needs to learn and obviously it’s going to be the hard way. My daughter is glad when he isn’t at home because she sees how stressful he makes life for me, for us. Our kids put us through our paces and Ryan is doing just that with me as I get so damn mad and frustrated and I have no answers and no one can help me with him.

It’s hard getting involved with a man with my son being as he is and I do not want any man who I do get involved with to get so pissed that he slaps the shit out of my son. It’s normal for someone who cares for you wanting to protect you even from your own children but I cannot allow that to happen. Ryan is the biggest reason that I haven’t gotten deeply involved with anyone and yes I am cheating myself but my children have to come first.

 

Attraction

I’ve been chatting with a gentleman that is beyond excited to meet me and I have no idea why. I’m very easy to talk to and I listen when people talk and I listen to what isn’t said as well. He really thinks Im cute and he loves my eyes, what is with the eyes??? He says we will become great friends but who knows until we do meet. He currently has the flu so I told him I wouldn’t meet him before Saturday.

When I meet someone for the first time I generally like to meet them in a very relaxed setting wearing jeans and a sweatshirt because it is just more comfortable for me. I do not like to go to dinner the first time I meet someone I would rather meet for lunch because if things don’t work out it’s easier to leave it after lunch. I do not like a guy to feel that I have used him for an expensive dinner and I do not like to feel committed myself.

Dating sux, simple as that and when there is absolutely no connection at all then it really sux as you have to fumble your way through an evening with that person. I do not drink more than a single glass of wine when I am with someone because alcohol makes us say and do things that we shouldn’t be doing. It’s hard to meet people who aren’t freaks in todays’ world, liars, users or thieves so one has to be so careful.

I have always believed in soulmates and I believe I have a soulmate but he refuses to meet me so I am trying to find someone who I do click with, someone I can enjoy spending time with, someone who I can talk to without being judged. I am a dreamer and I will never give up on love or seeking it because I need it and deserve to be treated well because I am such a giving person and a good person.