Another Day

My know it all son refuses to go to school and wants to do it online, well Mr. fucking know it all it’s to late for this semester so your ass has to go back to the local high school. This little fuck is driving me crazy with his damn demands and wants. This is what my stupid ass  fucking husband left me with, a kid with no damn direction but knows it all. I joined the gym yesterday and Im making him come with me because he isnt going to sleep til noon and up all night.

I didn’t realize my ass had so many muscles in it as it aches so much from walking on the treadmill. Im not even using an incline but damn I can hardly walk I’m so sore. Then I’ve got this married guy who I really like but I’m not going to cross that sacred line because when I invest my heart I invest it deeply. I refuse to be a booty call for anyone and yes I miss sex, yes I love it and yes I want it but NOOOOOO to married men.

I’m getting hit on my every loser there is in this world and Im ready to pack up my toys and go home, delete all of my dating profiles and call it quits. I’m sick of the weirdo’s and those that want kinky sex even though they do not even know my middle name. The financial stress is finally getting it to me as I am so overwhelmed with how to pay the damn bills I do not know what to do any longer.

Im tired of being the one who has to have all of the answers and solutions to everything that goes wrong around here and I’m sick of my know it all son’s bullshit. I can’t make him do a damn thing and we wouldn’t make it if we didn’t have his social security every month. I hate having to rely on his income to make it but my lovely husband fucked me royally during the divorce and now here I sit wanting to jump off a damn cliff.

The kids are aware that there  will be no presents again this year and there is nothing I can do about it. I feel like such a super loser because I should have the answers and I should be able to support my family. I’m so completely overwhelmed right now all I can do is cry from frustration. I wish I knew why my life has to be so difficult and lonely but of course I will never get the answers to my questions.