Not So Dumb

My son decided he wasn’t going to school any longer and go to school online, he is listening to someone who is 21, no drivers license, doesn’t have a job or is going to school and lives with his mother. What a great role model but at least he isn’t into drugs which I am grateful for and I’m hoping he can give Ryan some good advice  but then again he is only 21. I let Ryan stay home Monday and Tuesday and took him to the gym with me but last night I had had all the shit I could take from this child.

I told him the school called earlier and said if he wasn’t in school they were going to call the police and say he was truant and he would be picked up and taken to a boys home in Detroit. It was all a lie of course but what else was I to do? He got up and went to school this morning thank you God because I do not know what to do with this kid. This is what happens when a father doesn’t engage with his son, yes this is what Bob did to my son by ignoring him for the most part.

Ryan is mouthy, knows it all and does pretty much as he damn well pleases because I do not know how to handle him. I can’t lay all the blame on Bob but he is the reason Ryan thinks the way he does and he never spent any time with Ryan while he was growing up. I have tried so hard to be a good mother and Ryan makes me feel like such a failure which isn’t necessarily so because my kids have always come first in my life.

Having kids makes it difficult to date anyone but it’s part of life and they must accept that I do have children. We are never guaranteed the “perfect” child or children and no matter what our children do to us we always love them even though sometimes we must turn our back on them. If my husband was alive he wouldn’t tolerate Ryan talking to me the way he does and he did get physical with Ryan twice and I told him never to touch my son again.

Bob was such an asshole he threw Ryan down on the ground and kicked him like he was a dog and that is exactly what my son did to me almost a year ago. I realize my son has an illness but he also has a good heart and is so kind to people. He gets used alot and taken advantage of which so pisses me off but he has to learn the hard way because of course I know nothing and he knows it all.