The Acceptance

Young love is so great because we learn to share ourselves with someone else and to build a life together, have children, raise our family and hopefully grow old together. This doesn’t happen often any longer as the world has changed so much. We still fall in love, have children and then we grow apart and realize we are no longer in love with that one person we thought to be our everything.

Night after night we sit at the same dinner table, walk the same hallways, talk of the children and then we go to bed sleeping on the edge of the bed. Things change as we no longer cuddle with the one we love, we no longer make love with passion and desire and we become nothing more than a sexual object that turns into nothing but a physical release. We are no longer happy with that person and we no longer think about them constantly and want to be with them.

We stay in a stagnant relationship for the sake of the children and we try to make things work the only way we know how but in our hearts we know the end isn’t to far off. We wait as long as we can before we make that final departure. We use excuses like we have to many bills to pay alone, the kids would be totally devastated and they couldn’t live with just one full time parent, we use so many excuses but the truth is we fear starting over and going it alone.

Then there are some of us that made the decision to move on and then wam, we find out that, that one person we have shared so much of our life with is dieing and we do what is right, what is humane and what a person of compassion does. We bring that person home to die and we care for them and try to make their last days easy. The end comes not unexpected but dreaded and we find ourselves all alone in this world.

We try to do the best we can as everyday is a fight, a battle and no there is no comfort in a big empty house or empty bed. We hold onto our pillows and shed our tears onto the sheets and we wonder will there ever be another person that loves us, that wants to share our life, someone who shows us that love is still out there and we just have to wait until the timing is right to meet that new love.

We eventually meet our second love, the person that will be with us until we die, the one that becomes wrinkled and aged but still loves us for the person we are, not the beauty we used to be in youthful years. We spend our time with that one special love that holds are hand as we walk together, that one person that is always concerned about us and our health and the one that will love us for eternity.

The Draw

We tend to be attracted to people who grab our eye but then as we get to know the person it doesn’t matter how attractive they are if their personality doesn’t at something to them as a person. A person could be physically very attractive but if they have an annoying voice, monopolize every conversation, talk constantly about themselves and are a me me me first person then their outer beauty means nothing.

I met a very nice gentleman yesterday for dinner and he wasn’t unattractive but not attractive to me but I thought I would give him a chance because he did seem so nice. Well, he was someone who talked endlessly about himself, his investments and so on and it got to be really boring for me. He wasn’t interested too much in me and ask me very few questions and continually cut me off in  mid sentence.

I was so glad when the evening was over I couldn’t get away from him fast enough and I even had a hard time excusing myself to go to the ladies room. I didn’t have to pee but just needed a break from his non stop jabbering. I’m an easy person to talk to and I ask questions and listen and I do not take control of the conversation and I encourage the person to open up to me at least as much as they feel comfortable with.

Some people just need to be the center of attention constantly and they need to talk about themselves endlessly and I think it’s because it’s the only way they can build themselves up. The gentleman I was with last night was upset at the end of the night when he asked me out for Saturday and I told him that I thought he was a nice guy but I didn’t feel any chemistry with him, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings but I wasn’t going out with him again.

He told me he didn’t understand why I wasn’t attracted to him and that he felt that he was “perfect” for me, lol. It’s hard to end a night with someone who you do not want to see again but if you don’t then you are leading them on and that isn’t right. He told me he thought I was gorgeous and that he could be the perfect one for me to make my life so much happier and so I let him believe whatever he so chose to and I ended the night as graciously as I could, no kiss, no hug not even a hand shake.