To Enjoy

I enjoy so many things but the two things I really love is fishing and traveling. I would so love to travel the world going somewhere new every week and seeing new lands and meeting new people. I like to learn about different ways of life and that includes being dirt poor. I like to understand different religions and lifestyles and I like to connect with people of all walks of life and it doesnt matter what their standing in life is.

I do not judge people as harshly as I once did and I am so open to learning anything new without judgement or condemnation. I was raised very poor and understand poverty better than most and I understand the meaning of saving a buck and being frugal when necessary. I do not want to win the lottery or be wealthy to the point that it’s a gross amount, no I just want to be comfortable in my old age.

I’m a good person, a loving person, a caring person yet I have such a difficult time meeting anyone that appreciates me for me. I enjoy my home and feel so at ease at home as it should be. There are so many people who do not want to go home because they do not want to deal with the wife, the kids, the bullshit. I hate coming home to an empty house and having the kids home is comforting to me.

There will come a time not to far off that I will have an empty nest and be by myself and that day I do not look forward to. I will continue to grow and learn and maybe one day God will bring me the man who will appreciate me as I do him. When the right man does come along he will be treated so well he will never have eyes for another woman because I do treat people in my life very well.

I so look forward to meeting someone who enjoys home cooking, sitting on the back porch, holding hands, making love to the sound of the rain and things like that. I just want to  make someone else happy because that makes me happy even though that sounds stupid it is so true. Giving a warm oil massage, kissing slowly and lieing naked cuddling is what I so miss and want back so badly.

A New Way

I have finally come up with a way to bring in extra income which works to my advantage. I am dating gay men, yep there still are gay men that need to put on a front that they are straight. This gives me an opportunity to get out and go to nice places and meet different people. The professional gay man wants a woman who can hold her tongue when need be, speak intelligently, be knowledgeable and non judgemental.

This will give me extra money each month so we can turn the heat up to 70 all the time, pay the bills and buy the kids xmas presents. I have been so worried about our finances and I will be selling the house in the spring because it is sucking me dry financially. It’s way to big and hard to keep clean and I will finally be able to go grocery shopping without worry that other bills will be late.

I hate when I cannot pay my bills and they are late because I am a very responsible person and I am good with money but when your bills and your funds are difficult to balance then there is a problem. I am finally going to be able to breathe and not worry so much about where the next dollar is coming from. It’s always so expensive to live in this house during the winter because it costs so much to heat this mausoleum.

The kids have no idea what I am doing which is exactly as I want it to be so I can surprise them at xmas. I wasn’t able to get them anything last year but this year it looks like it will be very different. I am not exploiting gay men instead I offer a safe service for them as well as myself. I know it sounds crazy but it works and that is all that matters and I do not have to fuck anyone for anything.