The Throne

I could never get my husband to read a book, the paper, the mail or anything else that was written. Then there would come a time when he had to use the bathroom and he always left the door open when he peed but when he had to take a dump hell that door was closed, locked and bolted as if he had a damn government secret going on in there. He would be in there for like a half hour and I always wondered what in the hell he was doing in there for such a long time.

Why is it when a guy has to take a dump he seems to always need reading material? I mean seriously what in the sam hell are they doing in the bathroom for so long? It’s as if they are reading the entire law library or playboy. I never understood what was so exciting about reading a playboy in the bathroom because I cannot correlate taking a dump to naked women and I cannot understand a man reading or looking at naked pics while taking a dump.

God forbid there be only one bathroom in a house because when a man goes in there do not expect him to come out for a very long time, hell I could have had a great time with someone else, yes I could have had great sex without interruption when my husband went into the bathroom. I could have built a damn house he was in there so long and I have actually had to go outside and pee in the backyard at my old house because I only had one bathroom.

When my husband pissed me off and got on  my nerves I would wait until he went into the bathroom and I would knock on asking him when he was coming up for air, lol. It really made him mad that I would interrupt him during his shit sessions because I think he couldn’t go if someone was bothering him, lmao. The kids would knock and tell him to get out because he they had to go but that never seemed to phase him, men and their bathroom time is really something else and you damn well better be thankful you don’t have the shits.

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