Today is my 54th birthday, there are no bells, no whistles, no cake and no nice dinner because we do not have the money for such luxuries. I know it’s only my birthday but it should be a special day or so I still think that way. When the kids have a birthday I always get them a gift, make them a cake and take them to dinner and I usually have enough money to take the kids out for my birthday but not this year.
My daughter wished me a happy birthday but my son, well he’s just the kind of kid that gives hugs and teases me because I am so “old”. I try not to let myself get to down but it is so hard for me because I am such an emotional creature. I think a birthday should always be special, more so than any holiday and not being able to do something special makes me so sad and Im so alone and just hate it.
One day things will be different, I will be with someone who enjoys sharing my life and my vision for love, someone who will love me as much as I love him, someone who enjoys spending time with me no matter what we are doing and someone who will appreciate me for the person I am. I do not know when that day will come but I keep holding the faith that it will sooner than later.