Thinking

I’m sitting here thinking of touching your face gently with the back of my hand as I look deep into your eyes. My hand is slowly going down your cheek to your neck and then to your chest. I lean my head onto your shoulder and let out a heavy sigh as I am finally home, yes I am finally with the person I am meant to be with. You wrap your arms around me and comfort me as you know how hard life has been for me.

I hug you back and bury my face into your neck as the tears come without warning and you hold me even tighter. I raise both of my hands to your face and I kiss you softly on the lips, not once not twice but numerous times. We begin to kiss as lovers do with passion and desire that we both feel deep within our longing loins, it isn’t sex that we desire but something so much more.

It is our time to experience what we have been thinking about for so very long. We remove each others clothes with slow methodical movements and no we are not like to dogs in heat as we do this. It’s movements of true lovers, of two people who desire more than a quick orgasmic release because we want more than something so superficial. You lean back onto the bed and my breasts touch your chest and we continue to kiss, sweet, soft kisses.

You smell so damn good and I am comforted as I feel like this is where I belong, where I should have been so long ago. We touch each other with such delicacy as if we would break and we make love, sweet love that we do not rush as if we were in a marathon. This is our time, the time we have waited for a lifetime and when all is said and done I fall asleep on your chest with your arms around me.

Wouldn’t it be so nice if this really happened? 

Hungry Eyes

Did you ever see a picture of someone who you should couldn’t quit looking at? Someone you have never met and no they are not the best looking person you have ever seen but they had that “it” factor? You see something in their eyes, their smile, you see something that very few others see? Have you ever felt a connection with that person even though you have never met?

Do you have hungry eyes for this person so much that you must look at a picture of them often? You may not have met the person but there is something about that person that draws you in like a magnet? Can you feel that person’s emptiness? Their loneliness? Do you feel the same thing they feel or have you felt the way they have or do? Do you empathize with the person in the picture?

This is how I feel about someone I think of all of the time, no we have never met but when I look at his picture I feel so many emotions and most of them are emptiness. He seems to have an empty heart that is so giving but he just cannot find that one woman who can make him feel what he longs to feel. He has it all materially but he has learned that life was happier and simpler when he was young and didn’t have it all.

He remembers the days when being a kid was where all the happiness came into play and when I look at his picture I see someone who most do not see and I feel what most cannot feel. He is a good man in so many ways but he also has been used by so many that he can no longer trust what he feels and he questions what he thinks. He has become callous to much because he has had to but that is not the man inside.

My eyes are hungry for this man as are my arms wanting to hold him so close, my heart beats only for him yet I do not know him. You may ask how can this be and the answer is simple. The pull between us is one that has been made beyond this world, we have a connection that no man would believe exists because so very few believe in what we do. We are the odd couple to so many as they look at us independently and see two individuals that appear to be totally off the wall. 

He can deny it all he wants but he wants to meet me and he wants to know what it is he feels for me and he needs to define those emotions once and for all. I ask nothing of him and never would because I am not that way and the only thing I want to do is to show him that I am real, I am warm, caring and loving and I care for him so much yet I have no idea how or why we crossed paths other than it’s meant to be.

The White Dress

My daughter is like every other girl her age as she enjoys watching shows about weddings and the rich and famous. She cracks me up as she puts down the girls that are getting married, she makes fun of their color choices, makeup choices, venue and food choices. I have to give her credit because she is very good at makeup and applying it properly and she dresses very well and has great sense of color and design.

She dreams of a beautiful wedding like most girls do and she is picking things out of the tv weddings for her own wedding. She wants me to walk her down the aisle and I hope things are better financially for me when she finally does take the plunge. I never had a wedding, nope it was justice of the peace for me which was another let down in my life as I wanted a beautiful wedding as well but that is how my cards fall, always the joker facing up laughing at me.

She likes to watch the housewives of orange county and miami and she makes me watch that shit with her. Those woman are so fake and you can tell everyone that has had a boob job or face work done. These women have nothing better to do than to out do each other by purchasing berkin bags which are outrageously expensive and I cannot see spending that kind of money on a purse.

Shelby made me watch  with her the other night and there is a very young woman getting married to an older man. She has a huge sex drive and he doesn’t care if they ever have sex. This marriage will not last because sex is so important to any relationship and he just isn’t putting out. When a man doesn’t want sex then there is a problem unless he is dog tired most men will have sex at a drop of a hat.

Im glad I dont have that type of issue because I so enjoy sex and every aspect of it, I really enjoy making love slowly and giving my partner pleasure which in turn gives me pleasure. I do not know if I will ever find that special man or if I will ever have a partner that I worship but I do so hope one day, one day soon I can wrap my arms around the man who I will spend the rest of my life with.

I do not care if I marry again but I do want a committed relationship with someone, I want to make someone happy and they make me happy as well. I want great sex again and to laugh and hold hands again, to smile just thinking about that person . I think about someone now and he never leaves my mind and I do pray for him, his health and safety and I pray one day he will give me a chance to show him what he has been missing, I am what he has been missing and I think he knows it as well.