Keep On Keepin On

I have continued working out  days a week and you would think I would be stick thin by now but alas I am not. I can see the difference in the weight loss but not enough to keep me happy even though my jeans hang on my hips and I can pull them off without any trouble. Im at that fucked up stage of weight loss where the body doesn’t want to give up a pound but the jeans don’t fit because they are either to big or to small.

I feel so much better when I workout and it gets me out of the house as well and I sure need that as I stay home way to much. Big Rick noticed that I have lost some of that belly fat and Im trying to get him to join the gym as well but he just isn’t there yet. I will keep going because I do feel better about myself when I am done even though I am sweaty and smell I like the progress no matter how slow.

I have kept my own council and nobody knows how bad our situation is and I plan on keeping it that way because I cannot stand anyone having pity for me. Things haven’t been this bad since I was a kid and it seems as if life makes a complete circle and Im right back where I started from. I get so down because I have no idea why my life is the way it is because I am a good person but it seems all the shitfaces in the world make out while the good ones get fucked.

I know life isn’t fair and never expected it to be but damn does it have to be so challenging? 



There are many beautiful people in the world and then there are many beautiful people with an ugly heart. We are attracted to beautiful people as our eyes drink in their beauty but then we find that the beautiful person is very ugly on the inside. I think most people would walk away from someone beautiful that was hateful and mean on the inside but then again  some people are more impressed with outer beauty.

I’m not one that possesses outer beauty as much as I do possess inner beauty and that means more to me than anything. So many think Kim Kardasian is beautiful but I do not see a beautiful woman. I see a very ignorant woman who didn’t even know that a kitten needs a litter box and her voice, uggghhh that pussy ass voice makes me want to puke but men thing she is beautiful and desire her so.

I’ve known some very beautiful people who were beautiful not only on the outside but the inside as well and then I have known beautiful outside and very ugly inside. We seem to want it all in a person, inner and outer beauty but that isn’t so easy to find these days. I would rather be with a man who wasn’t all that attractive but had a great inner beauty then vice a versa. There are so many things that make a person beautiful inside but I think the top thing is being a loving person, someone who is kind and considerate out ways any outer beauty.

I think I am a beautiful person on the inside but that is my opinion of myself and some may not see me that way. My mother told me I was always greedy and selfish but I cannot recall a single time that I was either. She wanted me to support her financially and I refused to because she working and pissing away her money, which wasn’t my fault. She wanted a man to support her or her children she just wanted someone to take care of her.

I do not want that for my life I just want to love and be loved, I want to give all I have to someone who will appreciate me for it and love me back in return.