Nothing makes me sadder than to do nothing but think about being in the arms of the one that holds my heart. I shall never feel his touch, his kisses or his embraces yet he has seduced my mind as well as my body. How did this happen to me? How did my heart get wrapped up in this man? How did this connection come about?
I so badly want to let go of my feelings for him because they are a noose around my neck that gets tighter each and every day. My heart so badly wants to touch his but he will never let that happen so all I want to do is let my feet slip off that chair and let the noose do its job.I am one that loves so deeply that my own emotions become my tomb while others love so superficially.
I do not know why I must live in hell but I am and I want nothing more than to show this man how I feel for him. He has not a single material thing that could ever make me want him more and he could never give me a single earthly thing that could make me happy. I doubt he could ever believe that someone like me could love him for himself because people of my standing always appear to want more, want bigger and better.
I am not a material person and all I could ever want he possesses within his own heart not his bank account. He could never live the lifestyle I live because it is so below him at this stage of his life and he likes the wealthy life, he likes the gifts of fame and he likes the attention that fame has brought him.
What he doesnt like are the false friendships and those that claim to love him because he knows money is their true attachment to him. He doesnt believe anyone could love him for himself but the truth is he refuses to let the one and only woman who loves him for himself let her love him. People love us for different reasons but the love I feel for him has been placed in my heart long ago and yes we are soulmates but he wont let my love ever touch him.