Hearts

When I was younger and dating someone on Valentine’s day I always received flowers and candy and when I got married my husband would buy me flowers and candy as well but he never seemed to remember that I do not like cheap ass chocolate or roses. I had told him over and over that roses are not for me but wild flowers were and I really liked lindt chocolate truffles.

I always thanked him but I was always pissed because he never listened to my likes or dislikes. I would set up a nice evening at a nice restaurant and have everything ready to go and he would end up telling me he didn’t feel like going out, which was so typical of him. I find holidays to be nothing more than a reminder of how empty and lonely my life is as I have no one to lavish with my affection.

I like doing for others and V day is a day of expressing your love for another or even others. I will get the kids something because I like to make them feel special as well. I wish the one that holds my affection would open himself up enough to break bread with me and see if the sparks turn into a burning red hot flame as I do believe will be the case. It’s hard to carry feelings for someone who is too afraid to be with you but what can you do? 

I would so love to have a simple meal with this man and get to know him through joking and laughter, no pressure, no expectations just two people conversing and having a hell of a good time doing it. I think he prefers to live in a fantasy world because it is safe and there is no fear of rejection and I am a threat to him because I appear to be a wall of titanium, which I am not.

I have no one to rely on so if I don’t handle my life no one else is going to that is for damn sure. I am glad I am not a woman that has allowed a man to basically run my life and all aspects of it. I think it’s important to be independent and strong because ones personal strength brings much to a relationship and ones partner tends to maintain respect. I mean really would you want to be with someone that always agreed with you? Followed your direction? Someone you could bulldoze? I think not !!!!!!!!!!!!!

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