I have been thinking about my husband all day and as I look back I can remember wondering when would the moment come that he closed his eyes forever? Took his last breath? His final heart beat. I can remember the light going out of his eyes over several weeks the light got dimmer and dimmer as he came closer to death. I though to myself how would I feel knowing that I was going to die and leave my family in parel?
He wanted to say so much but he said very little and the sadness engulfed him like a warm blanket that gave no comfort. My heart broke a little more each day and I would sit in the great room with tears springing from my eyes at their own will. My empathy tried to over come me and take over my entire being but I couldn’t let that happen or I would have died along side of him. I dont know why I am thinking of him but he seems to come to me at every holiday or special occasion.
He is sorely missed by the kids and I miss him to I must admit because he was a good, kind man in the main and he helped everyone without question. It’s one thing to end a relationship and its a completely another to walk out on your dieing spouse. I could not let him die alone in a hospital bed, I could not turn my back on him and walk away, I could only be there for him in his hours of need and yes I was there.