Emotional Cheating

We fall in love and get married and after so many years the relationship is nothing more than two ships passing in the night with an occasion evening of sex. We start looking for some excitement in our lives so we go online for our entertainment and maybe that entertainment is porno or just chatting with others. Then, WAM we run across someone online we enjoy looking at and chatting with and we find ourselves falling in love with that person but we are married.

We eventually become obsessed with the person online and we can never let them know that we are married because we think one day we will be with that person. We no longer enjoy the company of our spouse and when we have sex the person online is the one in our dreams and fantasies. Do you consider that cheating? Most do not but it is cheating, emotional cheating is what we are doing and we are no longer faithful no matter how you add it up you become a cheater.

You are cheating the person online, your spouse, but worse of all yourself as you are constantly wanting to be with that person. We think all is innocent because the person is sexy and just a fantasy but that fantasy takes over our lives and we become more and more unhappy. The person online ends up falling in love with the person at the other end of the wires and they hope and pray one day that their soulmate will come to them and they will fulfill their hopes and dreams.

If you are one of these people you need to stop communicating with the person online or you need to set yourself free from your marriage because you are hurting everyone without realizing. I think when you are to the point that you are reaching out to another online and find you think of that person more than your spouse then you have reached a point in your life that requires you to make a move. You must do what makes you happy not your spouse or family and going for your own happiness is what is the utmost of importance.

Funny Isn’t It

Isn’t it funny how you can pick the color of car you drive, the clothes you wear and the food you eat but you do not have a choice of who you love. Love takes its own twists and turns and it takes us places we have never traveled before and you have no control over what or who your heart loves?

You can love one person for life but not be in love and no longer happy with that person but you still stay, you stay because you do not want to be among the stats of marriages gone bad, you stay for the kids, you stay so your family isn’t disappointed in you, you stay because you are afraid.

Love can be so debilitating at times and can knock you at the knees bringing you to the floor. Love can make you live in a dream and keep you a prisoner, hell love can destroy you if you let it. When you open yourself to love you open yourself to hurt and loss and you never know if the person you are with loves you as much back.

Love what the fuck would we do without it?Love is an essential part of our lives and without it we are empty and barren. To love is to give and to give you must open your heart. When I love I love deeply and without reservation, I give my heart on a silver platter only to be hurt once again, but that is what love does at times as it does hurt us.

Schooling

I have returned to school several times and had to quit because of my husband’s health but now that he is gone and I will be selling my house this summer I filed for a grant. I enjoy learning and going back to school will also make me feel accomplished as I am a very good student with a 4.0 grade average.

I qualify for the FAFSA because I have like no income or such a low income that I am considered as someone living in the poverty level. I make it ok but no there’s never any extra funds to go on vacation or just piss away. I support myself and my children on a small pension and disability and yes it has been hard but I have managed.

I could have married a very wealthy man but I am not one to sell my soul for money and no I wouldn’t date someone just because they have money. I have found people with money are more fucked up than people who have very little and I think it’s because of the power money buys.

I dont want to be wealthy I just want to be comfortable and everything is slowly falling into place and things are getting better all the way around. Moving is going to be a headache but once over we will be quite happy in our new home and we can make leaps and bounds moving forward.

Next year will be the major turning point in my life and I will finally find happiness, don’t ask me where but I will be happy. I am not one to rely on others to take care of me and that is a plus in my book. I don’t need a man to feel complete but hell it sure doesn’t hurt to have someone special in my life, how about you?