So Hard

It’s so hard for me to accept that I have fallen in love with someone who I have never met and I do not know how this even happened. I am a pretty sensible woman but when it comes to matters of the heart I have no control and am a prisoner of my emotions.

I realize that I must let go, I must put these feelings in a bottle and throw them into the ocean to eventually meet up with the one that can fulfill me emotionally. He is not a bad man at all and he has done nothing to make me feel this way but the truth is I have fallen into a deep love.

He doesn’t know me and I do not know him but fate stepped in and took control and Im trying so hard to let go because I can no longer let these feelings control me. I have closed the door to other men because he has my heart but that has got to stop and I must move on.

I know he knows how I feel but I guess I cannot fit the mold that he is seeking in a woman. Im a mish mash of old values living in a new world and Im so traditional in so many ways and so untraditional in others. As much as I care about my own heart I care for his as well and want him happy.

He hasn’t felt real happiness in a very long time and he needs to laugh and be accepted for himself. He’s the kind of guy that is so shy and quiet and then out of no where he will do or say something hilarious. He gives to much but not from his heart and I believe I have a place somewhere in his life but Im so not sure of where that place is.


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