People that have never been raped have no idea what it does to the psyche of the victim and how it changes so much about the victim. Rape is a crime of control it is not one of the need or desire for sexual gratification and it is not a crime of orgasmic enjoyment. The rapist is one that requires the need to be in control at all times and many rapists are lacking in endowment and many have small penises which is an embarrassment to them. The rapist cares nothing about their victim and they gain much enjoyment from making their victim feel “small” as they violate them.

I have learned to live with my violation and I have refused to let it define me in any way as so many victims do. You can either fall as a victim and stay a victim or you can learn as much as you can about your perpetrator and try to understand why you became their victim. Sometimes you can make sense out of it but most of the time the truth is you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. No woman brings rape upon themselves and how you chose to dress or act has nothing to do with how the rapist thinks and what makes him act out.

My experience happened long before dna was discovered and it took years of therapy and different therapists to teach me that I was a victim of someone who needed to feel that they were in control. The rapist wants nothing more than to bring shame upon their victim and they refuse to take responsibility for their actions as they blame their victim saying that the victim “asked” to be raped and violated. The rapist has some very sick and twisted ideas and they will never take responsibility for their actions.


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