What Will It Take

Do you ever wonder what will it take to make you do what you really want to? To be with the person you really want to be with? Do you ever wonder why life is the way that it is and why we must go it alone for so long and why we must experience loneliness loneliness at all? Why do we feel that we must be with a person because we feel committed even though we are not committed at all? Why do we stay in dead end relationships at all?

Doing the right thing isn’t always the right thing to do because when both people are not happy then we have done the wrong thing. We try to be upstanding people but the truth is if we are not happy then we have failed at making anyone else in our life happy. We pretend to be satisfied with our life but the truth is when we are not happy  we are incomplete and that is felt by the other person in our life.

We pretend that all is well but we know we are miserable inside and we go through each day without enjoying the day and we float from one day to the next. Its a shame that we fake it until we can make the changes we need to be really happy. I am slowly making the changes that require me to give up to move along in this world but I am doing it.  I am chatting with an old flame who lives in Ca. and has a son going to school in Australia and who knows where I may end up.

I would love to live in Ca. but from what I see I do not think I could afford to live there as the cost of living is extremely high and I live on a meager income. If I was the type of person that had no problem using others I would be so much further in life. I wil never resort to using anyone for anything because I am not that way and never will be. I am not happy but I am not unhappy at this time but hopefully one day I will wake up smiling every day.


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