No Turning Back

It’s been three very long years since my husband passed and it’s time for me to put aside the anniversary dates of our marriage, his death, the date when he had his leg amputated and all of the other dates that are constant reminders of our life together. It’s not easy putting someone who was a huge part of your life aside as if they never existed because we do not forget those people or want they brought to our lives. It doesn’t matter if it is through death or divorce or separation they are no longer part of our lives.

I think of the last month of his life and how feeding him, changing his diaper, bathing him ect. was part of every day life and no I wasn’t disgusted or grossed out as taking care of him is what I signed on for and I would hoe that if I were dieing that my mate would care for me in the same way. When you split up with that special person you start to realize what is really important in life and you put your life into a new perspective because losing that special one is losing part of ourselves.

The kids haven’t mentioned that today is the three year anniversary of the death of their dad but I know my daughter knows and possibly my son. I havent said anything as I have focused on getting things done around the house as we have a showing in less than a hour. I have a spice cake in the oven because a house that smells of baked goods always helps sell the house and I made chocolate chip cookies but put the in the freezer for another showing.

Wouldn’t it be something if we sold the house today? That would be so awesome but I am not holding my breath but anything is possible now isn’t it? I refuse to take less than what I have the house listed for because we have so much money in this house but I have listed it for an amount that I can walk away from this house with without feeling screwed. I make the final decisions and that works for me because I used to listen to my husband but he always steered me wrong and now its up to me to steer myself 

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