Hold Back

You want to feel her skin, you want to taste her lips, you want to smell her hair and feel it’s thickness and  how luxurious it is. You want to taste her essence but most of all you want to feel being inside of her. This woman is so alluring, so attractive to you but it is not her looks that attracts so much as it is her beliefs and her humor. This woman is funny, kind and caring and she is they type of woman you fantasize about constantly but refuse to let yourself be with her.

You my dear are afraid, so afraid that she will call you out when you try to use your name and fame to draw her in, you fear that she knows who the real you is and you cannot control her like everyone else in your life. You know that you have bought everyone in your life and you fear that you cannot buy her as well, which you cannot. She will never dance to the tune you play and you can never purchase her like the rest because this is one woman who refuses to let herself be bought.

You fear her rejection and you fear that she will tell you exactly what you need to hear not what you like to hear and no she will not blow smoke up your ass to make you feel like a man. You so want to put your hand on the back of her neck and look into her eyes seductively and draw her close so you can kiss her, so you can possess her, so you can make her yours and yours alone. You are so afraid of this woman because you know you cannot play mind games with her and win.

You want, want, want to be with her but you are so damn afraid that she wont buy your shit and she wont play your silly games and you fear her strength. You will never own this woman like the others and you can buy her furs and jewels and she will throw them back at you because they are not what she wants or needs. There is one thing you possess that she wants from you but you cannot figure it out because you look in all the wrong places and all the wrong spaces, all she wants is you to be yourself, the real you, the vulnerable you for once.


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