Attitude

When you are dealing with someone with bipolar disorder and they are not taking their meds there is only one way to get them to do as you ask. You must adjust your attitude, not put them down, don’t yell at them, just ask them in an even toned voice and they usually will comply. I have noticed this is the only way my son will do as I ask and we have been getting on nicely the past two days.

My son has a bad temper and he gets really nasty when I show my anger towards him so I have adopted a new way of dealing with him and that is adjusting my attitude. He is an avid League of Legends player and we sat and talked about the game today and it was common ground that kept us talking instead of fighting. It’s hard for me to remember to be nice and not to bitch because I get so overwhelmed with so much shit to care for every day.

My son isn’t a bad kid he just has issues that need to be medicated but he refuses to comply and I cannot make him. He is so damn intelligent but refuses to apply himself in school because he hates school and gets bored easily, I am hoping to get him enrolled in college this fall so he can finish high school and work at college at the same time. He says he wants to be a teacher which blows my mind because he called one of his teachers a cunt  and that didn’t go over well, not at all.

He makes me so damn mad at times I could spit bullets but I have to remember he is only seventeen and has an illness as well. Sometimes, we do not look at our children in the way we should and we do not treat them as we should and that brings out a side of their personalities that is undesirable at best. I try to be the best mom I can be but I have not quite got a grasp on the perfect parent and doubt I ever will.

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Private One

I am extremely private and I really hate when people try to get into my business or try to find out what I am doing. I am selling my home and I do not have a for sale sign in my front yard because it’s nobody’s business that I am selling. I do not talk to my neighbors and when I do it is a simple hello at the most because I stay to myself and have no interest in their lives and they shouldn’t care about mine.

I would never want to be famous because nothing is private and everything they do is always shown to the world through the rag mags or television. Perfect example is Robin Thicke and his estranged wife Paula, he screwed up and is trying desperately trying to get her back while the entire world watches and criticizes his actions. I have no desire to have my picture plastered all over the world and I have no desire to have anyone know anything about my personal relationships.

Fame has a hell of a price tag attached to it and I am sure so many famous people would love to have their privacy but cannot because of their fame. Try to date someone famous and see how quickly you are judged and crap is dug up about you, may it be true or false. I am a simple woman who wants nothing more than a quiet, simple life and to share it with someone who is as private as I am.

Looking

You can always tell when someone isn’t happy in the relationship that they are in because they are always looking elsewhere, under cover of course. If you are in a relationship you should either get out of it if you are not happy or work on it. Most people, especially men tend to set themselves up with another woman before they permanently leave their current relationship because they need the security of another relationship first.

I do not agree with this in the least but people are people and they deal with life in very different ways. If you are in a relationship currently and you are looking then your relationship is already over and it is just a matter of time before you end it permanently.It isn’t easy ending any relationship and sometimes we dick around playing different scenarios in our mind until we finally can make the move that is inevitable.

Sometimes, the person we are with has done nothing wrong and we actually like them as a person and a friend but the chemistry isn’t there any longer and we want more in our lives. Some go on the internet and look at pictures of other women, chat with other women in life and online and then out of nowhere there is that one person that just grabs us and we cannot get them out of our mind.

We become obsessed and we want to know everything about that person and we think about them constantly, what it would be like to spend time with them, hold their hand, kiss them, hug them, make love to them and so on. Eventually, we can no longer deny what we feel and we do whatever it takes to meet that person. When we finally do meet them that first meeting tells us everything we need to know to give direction to our lives.

It’s scary to think we are ending one relationship for someone we have obsessed over because what if the person doesn’t do a damn thing for us when we meet? But what is even scarier is the prospect of falling hard and fast for the person you thought you had secretly come to know. What if it doesn’t work out? Ahhhh, but what if it does???? Is there really a happy ending inside??? Damn right there is always that possibility and when it does work out we ask ourselves why we wasted so much time….

A Little TLC

People are funny as some of us are very affectionate while others are so cold or so it appears. I am a very affectionate person, almost to affectionate when I am with someone. I am not so much affectionate in public but when I am behind closed doors out comes affection times ten. I think everyone needs a certain amount of affection and attention and when we do not get it we kind of wither.

It’s been so long since I have had any real affection from another person that I do not know how I would act if I were given it. When I got married it was on the fly because I got pregnant and I had no idea my husband was a lieing, using bastard that showed me no affection. I got my affection from my children and pets and I learned to live without it from my partner, this is not as it should be.

I know the next person I get involved with I will know everything I need to know about them before I commit myself and they damn well better be loving and affectionate or they will not be in my life. The second time around is supposed to be better, happier and more fulfilling and that is exactly the type of relationship I will have or I shall stay single and by myself until I die because I refuse to settle for less ever again.

Kegels Rock

After women give birth we tend to be “looser” and that takes away from the pleasure of sex for the man because the friction is no longer as it once was. Doing Kegel excercises tightens up those muscles and gives the man so much more sexual pleasure. Most women either lie there or are in different positions and think all is well when in fact there is something they can do to enhance the sexual experience.

I have no doubt that I am pretty damn tight because it has been so long since I have experienced penetration and believe me I cannot wait for the right guy so I can enjoy sex once again. Even though I am tight I still would be doing one big Kegel exercises during sex because it gives the male so much more pleasure. I know that my husband always enjoyed it when I tightened those muscles upon penetration.

This is such a simple thing to do which brings so much more excitement and pleasure to the sexual experience for a male but few have ever had a woman take the initiative and they have no idea what they are denying their man of. I enjoy experimenting sexually and I think a healthy sex life is so important to any relationship and I do all I can to keep both myself as well as my mate excited and wanting me even more.

Unisex

I went to a male/female strip club last night and I didn’t even know such places existed, we stayed on the male stripper side and I was mildly amused at best. They put on a really good show and then they got to stripping, the guys wore g-strings that barely covered their balls and some of those guys really need to become friends with a razor or waxing. Some of the men were so hairy they gave apes a run for their money.

These guys really thought they had it all and shaking their asses and cocks around like they were a protein shake, hell maybe they were lmao but I wasn’t one to sample what they had to offer. You could tell some of them were on drugs and some were coke heads and drank to get their nerve up to dance I guess. My friends went through a total of five hundred dollar bills as they shoved them down their g-strings and copped a quick feel.

Women can act so desperate, so slutty at times and I guess these types of bars are for women to do just that, act slutty and spend money. I am no prude and I will admit I got a hell of a good laugh out of some of the girls but for me I wasn’t putting any of my cash down some guys pants and if I wanted to feel cock it sure wasn’t going to be in a setting like that. Some of the girls went a bit to far and actually grabbed these guys by the balls and pulled them to them.

I thought one girl was going to give a guy a head job right there at the table because the girls were way to drunk. I do not drink to excess and in fact I nursed a wine spritzer all night long. I can get pretty wild and crazy when I drink and I didn’t want to get out of control so I drank quite a bit of water with my wine and no I didn’t even have a buzz. The girls didn’t even notice that I was the only one sober and I wouldn’t of cared if they had noticed.

I am just so disturbed that the bride fucked someone while we were there and I do not think I can continue to be friends with this person because I cannot face the groom knowing what I know. I know I sound like a stick in the mud but it really bothers me so much because I know both of these people and like them both quite a bit. I guess a real friend would keep their mouth shut and pretend nothing went on but I am not good at lieing or pretending, so what to do???? Definitely keep my mouth shut, that is for sure.

Foolish Choices

When we are young we think we know it all and nobody has ever felt the way that we do or have experienced the things we have. So many meet someone, fall in love and marry because it’s either the best (and only) piece of ass they have ever had or they think marrying a virgin is prime real estate, lmao. We stay true to the one we have married but as the years go by we drift apart and the bed becomes a place to sleep with occasional sex, no more making love.

We may like being married  we do not like how our partner has become a stranger and the sex, when you do get it is mechanical and empty emotionally. We stay for the security, the comfort of familiarity and our children but we are emotionally spent and we begin to long for the touch of another, the feeling we get when we feel excited and we look forward to being with someone who will show us true affection and listen to us.

This is when you know for sure your marriage is over and even if you have married for life or thought the commitment you made would last a lifetime comes to a screeching halt. We hate admitting to ourselves that our marriage “failed” but the truth is we didn’t fail, we have just outgrown our situation and we long to feel that special feeling once again. It isn’t easy telling the kids and the family that divorce is eminent but we also can no longer be unhappy and watch the days goes by wishing we were free to find love once again.

Once we make the decision to split we get back into the dating game and some fuck everything that walks and talks and some date being very cautious and protective of ourselves. Eventually, we tire of the dating game and we begin to look for someone like minded, someone who understands us and wants to share our same likes. Once we find that person the second time around relationship is so much richer and so much more enjoyable as we grow old together.