Finding Who I Am

I have had more than my share of trials and tribulations and yes I have been in the lost and found box of life for a very long time. It finally feels as if I am finding who I am and putting a hush to the roaming thoughts and feelings is finally happening for me. I still do not know where this road of life is leading me but I ramble on my way and I go where the wind leads me and yes it is leading me to some place special.

My heart over flows with compassion and love and I know I am a good person, not great but at the very least good. I ask nothing of anybody but myself and I have a certain amount of inner peace which gets me through the day. I have been told that people are afraid to meet me because they fear that I would reject them-where in the sam hell they get this idea is beyond me because I do not think I am better than anyone else.

I am the one used to being rejected and not feeling as if I am good enough and I am the one from the wrong side of the tracks and feel inferior more often than not. Life has been an uphill battle for me but I continue to climb and I try to avoid looking behind me but forward instead. I have accepted that I am very different from most people and that isn’t a bad thing considering this world is full of those that want flash and wealth.

For me it hasn’t been easy finding a way of life that makes me happy because I do get bored so easily and there is nothing I have  done that has kept my interest. I have done everything from working at a fast food, real estate, working at a chemical factory, steel mill, delivery person for a beer distributor and ran my own mail order businesses which I did enjoy but they went belly up because of changes our government made to importation of exotic birds.

Now that I am retired I enjoy a very simple life of gardening, camping and spending time with my pets and yes I am aware of how boring it sounds because it is. Life is boring when you have no one to share it with but I would rather be alone than to settle for a relationship that wasn’t making me happy. I wish I could just date and take a man for what ever I could get from him but that just isn’t me and never will be.

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