Who Knows

Who knows you the best? your parents? your spouse? your best friend? or yourself? Who really knows you the better than anyone else? The truth is no one knows you not even yourself because we say we will never do or say things but the situation controls us and we respond in ways we never expected ourselves to act. A perfect example is divorce because the person we trusted the most is the one that will use against us the things we entrusted to them the most.

We think we know ourselves so good but the truth is we do not as we are constantly changing and rearranging our lives, thoughts, fears, dreams, hopes and wishes. People will say it is because of them that we are where we are at in life but that isn’t true because they are only a small part that was part of our life as the changes occurred. People want to take credit which is fine as long as they take credit for the small part they have played in our lives.

No one comes into our life without something to give us in the way of change and growth and yes we learn from them but they also exit when we have learned all we need to from that person. Our lives are similar to a revolving door as people come and go and sometimes it is a very sad departing and sometimes it is a happy departing and sometimes we are totally indifferent to a departure. We hold tight to our convictions but one day we open our hand and let those convictions fly away because we know it is for our best.

I have learned to let go of things that have needed to be let go of but years ago I would hold on so tight I would strangle the very thing I wanted the most. I have learned so much and have grown so much that I am no longer the person I once was. I have had my bipolar under control for quite some time but I do still get angry and frustrated and do not know what to do. I am not above sitting by myself and letting the tears flow because it is quite therapeutic in the long run.

I have been alone for a very long time because I have needed this time to clean up my life and to learn the lessons required to survive in this world. One day soon I will be with the person that I am meant to be with and that is when I will blossom like the bud on a rose bush. Then and only then will I truly be happy because that person will appreciate what I have to offer and they will know that I am a very rare and endangered woman.


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