The Greatest Gift

the greatest gift you can give anyone is hope and I believe that with my whole heart. I can remember the day the Dr. told my husband and I he only had a month to live and I was so shocked at such news. The look on the Dr.s face told me that this wasn’t the kind of news she wanted to tell us or to tell anyone for that matter. We had hope in our hearts but when she delivered the news the hope was snatched away just like that.

For some of us hope is all we have and when people play games with us or attempt to mind fuck us it takes our hope away. I have had hope for years to meet the man that is going to change my life but what do I get? I get men that play stupid games online and I know they will disappear as fast as they appeared and they talk nothing but bullshit and I do not believe anything they say anyway.

I believe that man is just to damn afraid to meet me like I am going to call the tabloids if we were ever to meet. He plays games as well and it doesn’t make him look manly in the least but instead it makes him look very immature and self centered. He seems to enjoy pretending to be someone else and he gets off on leading me on so all I have to say to him is go fuck yourself Gabriel, when you grow up let me know, maybe I will be available but don’t bet on it.


So many people want to meet the rich and famous but me the only person I would like to meet is Dr. Paolo Macchiarini. This man has done something that no other Dr. has been able or willing to do. He has taken stem cells from his patients in need and has been able to give them new trachias, now that is a man who has my attention, he has my interest and my admiration.

It is people like this that impress me the most because they are saving people one patient at a time. Almost everyone in my family are nurses except me because I cannot handle watching anyone or anything suffer. I actually take on their pain and suffering and it isn’t something I want to do but do just the same. I am to empathetic and cannot stand to see anyone in pain yet I cannot help put them out of their misery.

If you are one of those people who others want to meet because you are famous or rich take a step back and ask yourself what can you do to help others? What can you give from your heart that will help another? In the main stream of life is your fame or fortune really that important or is the person you are more important and what you can give? It’s not a crime to be rich and or famous but we must remember to keep ourselves in check when we believe we are entitled.

I would prefer to spend an hour with Dr. Macciarini than to spend a lifetime with someone who is famous or rich and is stuck on themselves. Medicine has always had my interest and at one time I wanted to be a Dr. but new that dream could never be reached and I gave up my hope on that dream. I do not know where my life is headed but I have so much to give and one day, yes one day someone is going to cherish what I have to offer.

Divine Intervention

There are people who do not believe in divine intervention but I am not one of those people because I believe everyone comes and goes in and out of our lives for a reason. You could be a billionaire and if you are meant to meet someone who is “regular” than it will happen because it is meant to be. It doesn’t matter what your standing is in life or what you have accomplished because what is meant to be will come to pass.

I believe all of us have something to offer someone else and when our work is done we move on as friendships drift apart as well as relationships. You cannot run and you cannot hide from things that are meant to be, all you can do is keep on keeping on and things come to pass. I also believe we go through difficult years because those years help us look at live differently and we grow so much.

When two people are meant to be together they will be and there is nothing that can stop the meeting. There are some so afraid to reach their hand out to the person they are meant to be with but eventually that fear subsides and the meeting takes place. We also cannot judge when or where we will find love as love finds us when we least expect it and all we can do is sit back and wait for that special time.

To Detest

I asked my son if he would help around the house and he told me he would do everything to not help but to be a pain in the ass. He told me he detested me and if I hadn’t threatened to call the police if he didn’t come home he would have stayed at his friends house. He also told me he was going to get a job with his friend washing dishes, like that is going to support him. He doesn’t do a damn thing but stay in the basement and on the computer and he does nothing else.

If my daughter asks him to do something he generally will but me, nope he totally ignores me and goes back to the computer. I limit the computer access at 11 p.m. because I cannot stand when he is screaming and yelling while he is playing the game he is addicted to. I have tried to be a good mother but I have either failed miserably or he is just at that age or it’s his age and his bipolar.

I still haven’t gotten him to go to a therapist and he hasn’t taken his meds in so long and refuses to. I no this is so sorry but I really do not care if I see or speak to him all day because he is so hateful and rude to me. All he can see is his own world and he isn’t happy but I cannot change that and he obviously has no desire to change his own life. He told me he was moving out when he turned 18 and I am looking forward to it.

It’s such a terrible thing to know that someone is so ill and you can do nothing about it because I cannot get him hospitalized until he threatens to hurt someone or himself or he actually does it. Why is it that there is no help for parents like me until something catastrophic happens? He attempted to kill be before and I will not be surprised if he tries and is successful, then and only then will he get the help he needs.