Words

It never seizes to amaze me how words said with the right tone can be so controlling over our bodies. I have been told by numerous men through out my life that I have a very sexy and sultry voice. I have the perfect deep sexy voice for phone sex and I can master words that give sexual arousal quite easily and I can get a man excited with very little energy. I enjoy sex and I enjoy getting a man excited and the men I have been with have always been sexually satisfied.

I have no doubt the men that read what I write get a hard on and get very sexually aroused because men are visual and they can easily read anything sexual and get turned on. I know the importance of sex in a mans life and I being a very sexual individual myself I know what the male body responds to and what it doesn’t. Men like romance as much as women and men like to be touched a certain way as well.

I miss romance and sex so much but I am not one to go out and jump some guys bones because I am wet and feeling horny as hell. When you have been celibate as long as I have it is hard to keep yourself in check but my ethics and morals always out weigh my sexual desires. The next man I am physical with damn well better eat his wheaties, cheerios and post toasties because it is going to be a sexual marathon for sure.

Viewing

I think one of the sexiest things you can do with your mate is make a sex tape so they can watch it over and over when they are away on business. Men love to see a woman naked in different sexual positions doing sexual things to them. Men love to watch a naked woman kissing them all over and giving them a blow job very seductively. Giving head is a fine art and not every woman knows how to perform such an act.

When you go down on a man you start by making out with him and then slowly kissing his chest and working your way down. You flutter your fingers around his groin area as you kiss his chest and then you kiss around his member and play with his balls. You then slowly lick here and there and then lick the tip of his member. You slowly take him in your mouth a little at a time and you back off and start over again.

When you finally have him in his entirety in your mouth you stroke him with your hand as well as tighten your lips as you go up and down on him. Most women hate going down on a guy but I enjoy it as long as he is shaved. It’s been years since I have had a man in my life to go  down on but just like riding a bike you never forget how to give pleasure to the male body.

Knees

I have been on my knees praying to God to show me how to be a better mother to my son, how to reach him, how to love him and understand him. I have tried so hard to be a good mother but my son says he despises me and he cannot wait to get away from me and move out on his own. I realize he is seventeen and he wants to have his freedom as a person yet he still clings to me when he needs me.

It breaks my heart to see my son so unhappy and when he cries I cry because I do not know how to reach him. I am always fearful that something bad is going to happen to him when he is across the state at a “friends” house. The only friends he has are from a game he plays online and I do not know what he is going to do when school starts up and he cannot run to their house for a week at a time.

I have to admit that I like it when he isn’t here because we are not fighting and he is not tearing me down as a mother. My daughter is fed up with him and glad he isn’t here but being a sister or mother are two different things completely. I can’t get him to help around the house and he refuses to pick up after himself and he doesn’t give a shit about anything other than getting lost in his online game.

All I know for sure is my life is going to be so different this time next year as my daughter will be in her third year of college and my son will have graduated and I will be responsible for only myself. I have to cut my son lose and my daughter will be spending her last semester of college in D.C. going to school and working for an attorney. It is a great opportunity for her and I will always be worried about her but she has  to grow up and the experience will be great for her.

Young To Old

When we are young we experience so many first times, the first date, the first kiss, the first time we have sex, the first true love, the first heart break and so many other firsts we share with someone else. We fall in love and think this is it, we have found our life long mate so we date just that one person and eventually marry them and raise a family thinking I will grow old with this person.

After we have our children we find ourselves growing apart from the life long love and we begin to have regrets of not living our life as a single individual and sampling everything life has to offer us. We begin to go to bed and sleep on our side and they sleep on theirs and there is no more hot, romantic making love just occasional sex just so we can get a release and we roll over and go to sleep.

After years of living like this we begin to want more, so much more we want the romance again and we want the laughter. We say we will never cheat and we keep ourselves busy so we do not let our wondering eyes take our bodies with them. We just can no longer find happiness in our current relationship and one of us finally makes the move that both of us knew would happen but the reality was just too much to handle.

We end up moving out and moving on and we try counseling and getting back with our partner but we realize nothing is ever going to change and we refuse to continue living life that way. We are cordial to each other but we begin to look for that one person to fill that emptiness within us and when we least expect it we meet that very person. We begin to build a relationship if not in real life in our own minds and that person becomes what we want so badly, that person fills our world with fantasy as well as reality. We want nothing more than to feel this person and what they have to offer to us.

We go to bed thinking about that person and we wake up with them on our mind and we think of nothing but them all through the day as we work or do what we must to get to the evening. We dream of one day lieing next to them and kissing them, making love to them and just talking to them and all we want is to be with that person. Finally, one day we can no longer stand not being with that person and we meet them and our world is completely changed forever.

Go

There are times in our lives that we have to set aside our fears of the unknown and go for it. The only way we ever know for sure if something is right for us is going for it regardless of the consequences. No one ever scored a goal by standing back and doing the math before they hit the ball into the net, no one ever got anywhere in life without taking chances and having faith that everything will work out for the best.

There are no guarantees in life other than death and that is why I have always set aside my fears and pushed forward no matter how slow my progress may be I have always forged forward. I have had a pretty hard life compared to many but I do not wave it like a flag in anyone’s face asking for their help or understanding because no one really cares when you get right down to it.

Those that sit on the bench hoping things will turn in their favor end up with splinters in their ass because when you sit and do nothing that is exactly what you get, nothing. I am not a lucky person so I never play the casinos and only rarely play the lottery. I read my horoscope yesterday and it said by a scratch off lottery ticket because I would have  a great chance of winning and you know what? I actually did win even though it was only five dollars I still won.

I have learned if you do nothing to make a positive change in your life then you are stunting your personal growth and I am already short enough, lol. It’s hard being a single mother relying on no one but yourself to make the right moves for your family. Yes, I have failed at different things but it wasn’t for the lack of trying to make things better for us and nothing or nobody will ever keep me from doing what is right.