The Waters Edge

One of the hardest things in life is to succumb to our feelings because to do so is to let ourselves be controlled by those feelings. There are times when we just cannot deny what we feel for another and those feelings begin to drag us down into the abyss. We try so hard to keep in the driver’s seat but emotions, well emotions take over and we become our own prisoner.

The easiest way to get over someone is to replace them with someone else and yes you are technically using another person. Then what happens? We either fall for that person or we use them as a “filler” in our lives so we can move on to greener pastures. There are people who belong together but one of them isn’t sure of where they are at in life and they are so very lost in their own world.

There are times that we need to walk the water’s edge and skip a stone so we can find ourselves and do what our heart tells us is right. We can over think a situation and we can talk ourselves out of the very thing we are to strive for. If your heart is telling you one thing and your mind is telling you another then sit in silence and get in touch with your spiritual side and the correct path with be shown to you.

The Shame

When we find out things about another person we are either intrigued, amused, turned off or disgusted. Some people hide some pretty awful or perverted things about themselves and they would never want anyone to find out. You can be dressed for success or dressed as a pauper but behind the face is someone no one is ever going to know because we are ashamed of that part of ourselves.

Enter the internet world where we can be anyone we choose to be and we can act like the true asshole that we are. It isn’t wrong to have sexual desires but it is wrong to play games with peoples emotions. If you have no real interest in ever meeting someone then you shouldn’t concern yourself with their life or how they live it and if you are sexually starved or frustrated then get yourself someone to take care of that for you.

I used to care for someone but I am finding myself losing interest in him, maybe it’s just that I have had enough or maybe it’s the stars telling me it is time to cut him from my life. I used to have so much respect for him and I wanted to be with him so badly even if we were only to build a friendship. I woke up this morning feeling empty of any emotion or feelings for him and it felt good because I want him out of my life as he offers me nothing.

Belong

I think one of the hardest things to do is to end a relationship because we realize we no longer belong in it yet we do not want to hurt the other person. I have had numerous relationships that I knew we were better friends than we were lovers and I knew the relationship was headed no where. I have never been cruel when ending a relationship and I have never made anyone feel it was their fault.

One thing I am proud of is the way I ended my relationships and how we remained friends even if he did feel hurt. I have never intentionally gotten involved with someone knowing that the relationship would go no where. There are some people who belong as friends and nothing more and then there are those relationships that run hot and heavy and end bitterly.

It’s always so damn difficult to hurt another person but sometimes we must for our own salvation. I have also been in a relationship and met someone else that attracted me so much but I ended the first relationship before moving forward with the next one. I have learned so much from love and losing love and it has made me a better person for it even though it may have hurt both of us to end it.

You just know when you meet someone or communicate with someone if they make your heart skip a beet and you are always thinking of that person that you want to be with them. You want to get to know them and you want to touch them emotionally and physically and you want something deeper with that person. But if that person will not open up to you no matter what you do then what?

You have to look at the situation realistically and you have to cut the person loose from your heart and your thoughts. It’s not that you no longer care for them you just have come to realize that putting yourself first is more important and you have to once again find your center and live for your own happiness. Sometimes, you can wait to long and  you end up cheating yourself out of happiness, as I have.