Let Them Go

For years I have been attracted to one particular man but of lately I have decided to just let him go his own way and me go mine. He is someone who is full of himself and he loves to play games with me. He has gotten me to fly to another state to meet him only for him not to show up and he has pretended to be a shitload of different guys on the internet just so he could communicate with me. He is married and unhappy but stays married for his own reasons which are getting him no where but more unhappy.

He enjoys fucking with me and I have finally decided that I have had enough and will no longer be one to engage with his childish bullshit. He is bored and lonely and doesn’t know what else to do with himself between flights from country to country. I have no respect for him any longer and have no desire to have any type of communication with him because quite frankly he has come to be nothing but a bore to me.

He’s the type of guy that married very young, a virgin bride or his bride fucked him and only him before they married and no doubt has never given him a blow job during their entire marriage and of course he would never ask his wife to suck his dick. He is into porno and talking sex online because he isn’t getting laid as much as he would like to by the wifey. I have no doubt she is a very nice person but sexually all she has had is his cock and she isn’t sexually experienced to give him the pleasure he seeks.

The Evil Breakup

I can remember being a very bitter person in my younger years when I had a break up with a guy. I wasn’t the type of woman to flatten tires or anything like that but bitter, yes I was. I can actually understand the mentality behind someone wanting to make the one that left them pay and no I do not agree with it but yes I do understand it. When we are the ones left behind we are hurt and we want the other person to hurt as much as we are.

Some people have a difficult time letting go and will do almost anything to hurt the one that they loved. Men tend to stalk more so than women but women tend to be more violent with passive aggressive behavior. A woman is more likely to break your windshield or flatten your tires as well as show up at places you  two shared together. A woman will sit in the corner waiting for you to walk in with another woman and follow that woman into the restroom and fill her head full of one sided break up stories.

Then we have the person that will take your private photos and plaster them all over the internet, send them to your wife if you are married, send them to your children, brothers and sisters and any relative they can reach on the internet. I will admit that I have threatened to do just that but would I? No, I wouldn’t because hurting someone who hurt me isn’t going to change the situation now is it?

I think the best way to deal with a break up of any kind is to wish the person well and really mean it because that frees you from anger and resentment and it is a spiritual move that helps you grow. It doesn’t improve my station in life or my self esteem to hurt anyone that has hurt me and by wishing them well I am actually wishing myself well and not allowing anger to control me.

This is exactly why I have ended every relationship on friendly terms at the best and a simple good bye at the least. I know that wanting to harm someone because they no longer want to be involved with you on any level isn’t going to make them love you or want to even be your friend. Of course there is a small amount of anger and resentment to every breakup but that doesn’t mean you have to be a stone cold bitch or bastard.

Mother Daughter

My daughter and I have a great relationship as it is one of honesty and straight forwardness. We talk about everything and she is always telling me to suck a dick which makes me laugh. My daughter has a great sense of humor and she is so funny as she always makes me laugh and she has come to do quite a bit of speaking for the pets as of lately. She pretends to know what the pets are thinking, lol.

She just asked me why I should never play with the fastest animal in the jungle-because he’s a cheetah, lmao. I am fortunate to have such a good relationship with her because at one time we didn’t get along to well because of the divorce. I am thankful to have her support and she keeps putting me in my place when I get to mouthy with her, lol. Having a good relationship with your kids is so rewarding and I am thankful for what I have with mine.

Tic Toc

Tic toc goes the clock as we watch our lives pass away day by day. Some of us are dreamers and dream of happier times and some of us dream and get lost in our own fantasies. We push away those that care for us and we dream of being with another yet we do nothing about it as we watch the clock, tic toc, tic toc. We play with others as if life is a game and we are the master of the game.

When we realize we are nothing but a pawn, a good time for the bored we know we must move on and no longer listen to the tic toc. We must stop the hands of time and change the direction of our life letting go of what no longer serves us. I am not one to hurt another but so many have chosen to hurt me and now it is time for me to break the clock of time from past and no longer let the past rule me.

He has laughed and thought the game he was playing was a game for one, for him alone to know but he didn’t know is that I knew that he was a player. He will never find happiness because he is a player and his life is barren of real love, real happiness and contentment. I find my  own peace from knowing that I am true to myself and follow my heart while he lives a lie, tic toc, tic toc.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it (anywhere i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)                                   i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)