Because Of You

Because of you I feel complete, because of you my heart sings, because of you the sadness is finally gone, because of you I smile, because of you life has new meaning, because of you my dear my heart is open for love once again and this is all because of you and you alone.


Your All

There are people in our lives that we want to give our all to, we want to do whatever we can to make them happy, make life easier for them, make their world complete. When you feel this way about someone it is called love, yes it is love and it needs to be fed and nurtured to grow.

Love isn’t easily found and it is used as weapon, to hurt, to control, to manipulate others. I do not believe love should ever be used in these ways but it is and that is probably why I have feared it for so long. I love someone, yes I do love this person and want to make his world complete in any way I can.

I want to see him smile, hear him laugh, know that his heart is over flowing and that he feels like he is someone in his own eyes. Yes those that are famous are not famous in their own eyes and they consider themselves like everyone else even though they are not.

Money doesn’t bring them happiness and neither do one night stands, yes they no doubt enjoy the perks of having money and fame but in the main they would trade it all in just to have their privacy and anonyminity I have always had to work for everything I had and maybe that is why I have never envied the rich and famous because I can see the hurt that fills their lives. 

My goal is to bring as much happiness into this world and share with the man who has stolen my heart. I want nothing from him, no what I want is to give to him and show him its ok to be himself and if being an asshole at times is part of his makeup well then thats ok to.

As I sit here I think of gently touching the side of his face while gazing into his eyes and feeling his soul. I think of the warmth from the touch of his hand, the smell of him and hearing his voice. I think of nothing but him and try my hardest to distract myself from the thought of him but I cannot do this for very long because he is always in my mind and heart.

Silly Grin

Have you ever found yourself grinning that silly grin when your heart feels something special for someone and that feeling is reciprocated? I found myself grinning ear to ear today because finally yes finally I know that someone I care deeply for cares for me as well.

It’s so nice to know there is someone who really cares for and about you and that they want to spend time with you and share your feelings and emotions. I feel so guidy right now and I feel like a happy dance is what will make my day so yes I have been doing the happy dance.

My son came home from school and he asked me what I was grinning so much about and I told him nothing. He said bullshit and he said who is he or she lol and he said “I dont judge” lol. Im not gay and he knows it but loves to tease me just the same he even told me he hadn’t seen me this happy like forever.

Im glad he could see me happy because it is true I havent been happy in a very long time and I am almost afraid to let myself be this happy for the rug could easily be pulled out from under me. I so do hope that I haven’t been played and let astray because that would honestly kill me.