Lets Talk

As I look back the hardest time I ever had with my spouse was telling him we needed to sit down and talk. We sat at the table and I apprehensively looked out the sliding glass door looking over the field in the back. I slowly worked up the nerve to say the words that I dreaded saying but knew needed to be said.

I started by trying to soften the blow with words like neither of us have been happy, we just didn’t fit together any longer, ect. I finally told him I wanted a divorce and the wind was knocked out of him for sure. I could tell he wasn’t prepared for those words and he tried the lets get counseling route but I told him it was too late.

We lived in separate rooms of the house for a while prior to me filing for divorce and once he was served he was no longer trying to be nice. He turned into someone I didn’t know as he emptied the bank account leaving me without a dime and the charge cards had been ran up so I couldn’t use them.

This is the same man who planted his seed in me and I gave him to children, this was the same man who ran to the pharmacy to get my medication, this was the man who I had built a life with. This man was turned inside out and no longer the man I had ever known.

He did everything possible to destroy me, my reputation, damage everything that meant anything to be and disposed of things that I liked. When I come across anyone thinking of divorce I warn them to protect themselves because the one that is rejected is more likely than not to lash out and damage the other person any way they can including using the children.

During a divorce girls usually take to their father’s defense and boys want to protect their mother and will turn against their father. It takes a long time to repair the damage of a divorce when you are dealing with a bitter spouse and its always best not to say anything negative about the other parent.

When we want out of our marriage and there is someone waiting in the wings for us we really need to make a move to ensure out happiness. No one will wait forever but you have to make the move when it is right for you and only you and if someone loves you they will support you anyway they can.

So many times two people meet and the one that is married becomes totally besotted with the other person and they want a divorce like yesterday. They say things to the one that has stolen their heart and they let themselves get carried away and then after thinking about it they run away scared to death at the actual thought of making a move.

They find themselves in a situation that they don’t know how to get themselves out of and they regret things that they said. They end up so confused that they become missing in action until they can get their bearings. They come out of hiding with a clearer head and a vision for their future, may it be with the one that stole their heart or may it be with the spouse that they will eventually leave.

Street Lights

When you drive down a street the street is usually lit by street lights but between each light is a part of the street that isn’t so easily seen. When you come to the part of the street that one light is out you cannot see anything in the dark at all. That is what my life is feeling like at this time.

I feel like I can see clearly at moments and others things can be foggy and completely dark at times. This is starting out to be a crazy month as I was knocked off me feet with surprise by someone admitting that they loved me. I actually believed this person because we are soulmates regardless of my doubts at this time.

He appears to be playing me and I have no idea why he would want to hurt me but if he wants to push me away it is really quite simple to let me know and I would be gone. He will never deal with a jealous woman that wants to destroy him as a way of payback because I just cannot hurt him in that way.

He continues to lie to me for whatever reason and I know he isn’t living in Argentina regardless of what he says. All of the private pics of him have been deleted from their locations and I have been blocked as well. As my son says it takes two people to make a relationship and worrying doesnt change a thing.

I have no doubt there is a girlfriend living with this man and I think he isn’t happy regardless of how much sex he may be getting from her. I can wish him nothing but the best and the biggest sin is not following your heart and opening up to love. I thought we were friends but once again I am the fool with an upside down grin, now aren’t I.

The Eyes

Wow some people are really something as they stallk the fuck out of you but when you start looking into them they dont like it and have you blocked and they tell others that you are stalking them. Then to top it all off they fucking lie to you to find out what you may know about them.

They tell you they love you and want to be with you and its all a fucking game to them. They use you for a quick online fuck and then move on like you are nothing and never were. This is how it goes and this is how life is and this is why I hate people and love my pets.