Forward and Beyond

It’s very hard to stop caring for someone, stop thinking of them and wanting to be with them. This is how my life has been for the past five years as I have wanted to be with someone so badly that I have pushed others away. I do not know why he came into my life only to not be with me when he was finally free to be.

At first I thought maybe he was just flying solo for a while and then I realized he had a girlfriend “Maria”. He left his wife after twenty four years of marriage which engulfed his entire adult life and he was now enjoying the fruits of other women or at least one other woman.

Men his age fall for much younger women because they make a man feel so desirable when the truth is all they want is what they can get from the man including marriage and getting knocked up isn’t out of the picture either. I really think it is best that he run free for a while and enjoy his life with others because he will get tired of the girls and get tired of that lifestyle and he will once again yearn for a woman a real woman who can grow old with him.

Older men try to keep up with younger women and for a while they can but then they realize that they are no longer young and have done everything the young have done and now they want to  relax and chill. This is not what the young want so the man eventually gives up on his young love only to seek out someone more mature, more settled.

I have waited five long years to be with this man but I have realized that I am not what he wants so I am moving forward and beyond what I have felt for him. I am now spending my time with someone who seems to be very taken by me and he wants to be with me.

He called last night and asked me if I would like to share a pizza with him and so out we went in the frigid cold to the local pizzaria. We laughed and joked and there was definite sexual overtones as he put his hand over mine when he spoke to me. I am not an easy woman and it takes a long time to get me into bed because I value myself and I know what I have to offer sexually is not run of the mill and very few women are as sexual or sensual as I am at my age.

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