Choices

When two people meet for the first time the attraction is generally physical and once past the physical we get into the mental and the emotional side of the relationship. This is why so many people are online looking for love as they see a picture and are either drawn to the person or they are not. They do not give the person a chance to get to know them as they feel no attraction yet if they were to meet in person the chemistry could be off the charts regardless of appearance.

Catfishing is so popular these days and it is such a painful thing to do to anyone as all of us want to love and to be loved. When you catfish someone you are violating that person in more ways than one as you are lieing to them from the very beginning of the relationship. This destroys the trust in the beginning of such a relationship without you even being aware of it as lieing to someone when you first meet or have a connection will come back to haunt you eventually.

When someone first starts catfishing they do not intend to hurt the person and their once innocent connection turns into an elaborate lie that they cannot figure out how to repair. I am a perfect example of someone catfished as I had thought for years, literally years that I was dealing with one man but I have come to find out that the person I thought I was chatting with was not the same person at all.

I am not crushed as so many do end up but I can tell you it was a slap in the face of reality that woke me up and made me let go of the hopes, dreams and wishes I had to be with this man. I now know that the person I had been fantasizing about all of these years is someone who I have been lead to believe had an interest in me when the truth is he doesn’t even know I am alive. He is involved with a much younger woman and has no interest in an old woman as myself.

Men that hook up with women 15 yrs their junior or more have no desire to be with a woman their own age because the younger woman builds up their egos and makes them feel so desirable. An older woman wont play games, try to get pregnant or try to get the man down the marital aisle, that is generally and that is what the younger woman wants. I think everyone wants to love and to be loved and that is why we so easily fall into the catfishing that goes on online.

People can be whom ever they choose to be online and they can use fake pictures and text and they can lead you to believe anything they want you to believe. Some people do this as they are in a relationship or married and do not want their significant other to know what they are doing. When people are not happy in their personal relationship they can go online and fantasize about the men or women online that they are attracted to.

They can develop relationships without the intent of the relationship being anything more than a “chat partner” online. As the two people chat more and more a relationship is built and the mind begins to wonder. We begin to build scenarios with the online person and we let our imaginations carry us away and then we start thinking about how wonderful it would be to be with that person.

We look at our current real-time relationship and we see what doesn’t make us happy and we see every negative thing about our current partner. We then  begin to realize that we are really unhappy and want so much more out of life and we end up deleting the real-time relationship from our lives. We look at the person online as our savior and we want nothing more than to be with that person and we are willing to do whatever it takes to be with them.

We have no idea if we would work out as a couple and we rely totally on what we have read about the person or the pictures we see. We start to build wonderful hopes and dreams with the very person we have never spent a minute with and we want nothing more than to kiss that person, hold their hand, make love to them, laugh and joke with them and spend time with them. But we let our fear stand in the way as we try to get the nerve to meet that one special person in person.