C Ya

Things with “C” have almost ran their course because he is just to damn controlling for me. He doesn’t want me to have my fb, he wants to be part of my new business-that will never happen and now he is starting to pressure me for sex. In today’s world everyone is having sex on the first date but I don’t drop my panties that quickly.

I have tried to calculate the cost of several dinners as far as sexual and I can’t quite figure out if the first time we went to dinner is worth a blow job, the second dinner, taking a shower together, third dinner, having sex. How do you figure out the cost of a date?

I have decided that I am not ready to be sexually active just quite yet or maybe I am waiting for the right person. I have agreed to meet someone in Vegas in January but I am not holding my breath waiting for this meeting to happen. He says he will follow through but I dont know if I can believe him.

I’m starting 2013 off on the right foot by letting someone into my life and if it isn’t “him” it will be someone else. I will not wait any longer for anyone and I want to be out of here in two years and that is how long it would take before any type of relationship would be stable enough for me to make any decisions.

It’s All Mental

It is so hard to wait for someone and it must be equally as hard to want to be with someone but you cannot, at least not at that time. When we wait we build up a vision of the person as we see them, not as they are.

It is hard to hold on to your dreams, hopes and wishes when you do not have the important answers. One thing I do know is when two souls belong together they definitely will eventually be together.

Love is one of the strongest emotions we have and it controls us like no other. Men want love to but differently from women and men want sex. If you keep your man sexually satisfied and mentally stimulated you will have a happy life.

 

Ok You Win

Some people treat love as if it is a win or lose game and it has nothing to do with winning or losing. Some people like to say they won an argument and it makes them feel superior. Relationships are about give and take, understanding and feeling secure, there is nothing worse than a relationship where one is insecure.

You must be able to trust your partner and accept how they live their life and they must respect the same in you. I think long distance relationships can work if the two have trust and some of us cannot help but trust another. I know quite a bit about trust and it is amazing how someone can really let you down and we still have trust in them.

If you are in my life then I trust you  because I have a very small social circle because I do not trust many people and I am quite happy in that area of my life. I look at relationships in an open light because if you cheat on me keep going because if you were happy with me to begin with you wouldn’t be looking elsewhere.

I want people to be happy because life is so much easier when you are happy. I am not happy but I am not terribly unhappy since I got Khloe. I rescued her from the pound and I am not a cat person but she is easy to care for, I will be picking up my yorkie boys this morning and I am happy when I think about those two little shits.

I am happy with my pets more so than most people because I am hope all day and I play with them so much. I should be focusing on “C” but sometimes you meet someone and you have such a friendship connection that sex isn’t thought about. I think that is where “C and I are.

What I was mistaking as “C” falling in love with me I think is actually this awesome friendship like I haven’t had in a real long time. Some people may think it is weird that we can lie naked together and he could bathe me and there is no sex involved. We just click on a different level I think.

I think we both like kissing and lieing together naked and it is like something both of us need, nor more no less. If you know me than you can understand that me being naked most of the time at home is a way of life for me. Yes, I grab a robe now when someone knocks at the door.

Once you are used to someone who is naked most of the time what others would think is terrible is common place with them. I do not walk around naked in front of strangers or my friends because that would make them feel uncomfortable. Being naked is such a free feeling as free as someone feels jumping out of a plane and hearing complete silence except for the wind.

Ooh Threats

I have some hacker that is on topface acting like he is from another country. The funny thing is he has a Minnesota ip address. What a jerk, wants me to get naked and masturbate online with him, like that is going to happen. He says he is going to trash my profile like I really do not care.

He has a serious problem if he thinks threatening me is going to get him anywhere because it won’t. Men are so stupid sometimes and this is a perfect example.  Men that try to use sex to control a woman has picked the wrong woman because I do not have a sense of humor when it comes to this.

This jerk either can’t get a woman his age or he thinks older women want him, lol. He said he was going to crack all of my passwords, ok have at it. Some people have serious control issues and I think he has one and is probably short as well. Why does this have to be so difficult?

Maybe I will just focus on “C” which I am but these guys on these dating sites give me free entertainment as they make an ass out of themselves. Maybe other women have cam sex with strangers but not me, I save that shit for someone special and I have yet to meet that individual.

No, No, Nope

I joined a few dating sites and going through all those pics is so boring and time-consuming. One site you rate people and I just keep hitting 1 for a rating because none of them attract me. I am very picky and not just any man can turn my head and I don’t care how attractive he is if he has no personality, he has nothing.

As you know I like long hair on a man and the man I have cared for, for years cut his hair to “fit it” to what his employers wanted. It is sad that a person has to change for a job and I do hope he never changes for a woman, which I highly doubt he ever would. He is shy but he is a flirt and loves women and sex more than the average man.

His actions do not intimidate me because I also know he is one that is true to his heart and I so hope he is with a woman that makes him happy, really happy but I think not. If he doesn’t slow down and get some rest he won’t have to worry about his love life because he won’t be having a life at all.

It’s time for him to get some serious tlc in his life and because I care for him as a person and a friend, I want the best for him. It is a shame we will never meet because I think we would have so much fun and a great time and that is what he needs. He would never have to worry about me asking him for anything because it wouldn’t happen.

I think he is to afraid of me to meet me because I could woop his ass and I think he knows it, lol. All I can say is I am the type of person once you meet me you never forget me. You either hate me or like and most like me, except for women of course because I threaten them.

I am glad we haven’t met because he couldn’t handle having that much fun without spending a small fortune. My luck he would fall in love with me and I do not want that, men fall for me so damn easy and I am not bragging, it just happens. I make people feel good about themselves and that happens so rarely.

People never compliment each other anymore and women, well hell women just don’t do it, but I do compliment women. A pretty woman is rare to see and if I like their hair, makeup or clothes I let them know. I will also tell you that you look like shit if you ask me and you do. Sometimes, you do not have to ask-like that ugly ass green flourescent tie with the blue shirt, can you  say UGLY?

We Want

Women generally to look for a man like their father and men do the same with their mothers. Men tend to prefer self reliant and confident women even if their mother wasn’t that way. Self confidence is a turn on because many do not have it.

I am self confidant because I have had to be and I am self reliant and want no one to take care of me. It’s nice to know that you have someone who will but to rely on them is to put yourself under another’s control, no thank you.

People have lost sight of what marriage is really about and to many give up and get divorced. I was separated for two years and we got back together, not out of love but more out of need. We needed each other and he really needed me.

I would never leave a relationship for another man because I think that ending the current relationship is hard enough without adding another to the mix, but that is just me.I think when you break up you should date people before you decide to settle with one.

It is said the second time around is the sweetest and I want to be damn sure before I m to anyone. I like to move slow in relationships because I want that relationship to have the best start as possible and I want to enjoy the person and learning about them.

I have never needed a man to feel whole but it is nice to have someone you can share ideas with and talk to about your troubles. I do not want someone to fix my shit, no I can do that but it is nice to have someone you trust that you can get feedback from.

No Entry

There is something wrong with me and I am having a difficult time sexually with someone I am seeing.  We have slept together naked and not had sex, only romance and kissing and I know I shouldn’t be complaining because I love romance and kissing.

I want to have sex with him but I can’t, don’t ask me why there is just something stopping me. It’s as if I have sex with him then there is a committed relationship and I do not want that. I am not someone who will have sex for the sake of having sex, if you know what I mean.

I really like “C” but I’m not ready for that leap and he isn’t pushing me, I think I am pushing myself as if I have fallen off a horse and I am getting back on to get over my fear. Men are not horses and I am sure sex is like riding a bike but for some reason I cannot take that step with him.

This is not normal behavior or is it? Do people get afraid to have sex when they have been alone for so long physically? It’s as if sex is a trap that lures you in and grabs you from behind and for me it solidifies a relationship, am I wrong?

Us Anew

“C” and I had a good talk today and we cleared the air and I explained how I feel about letting him know about my current set of problems. I have told him how bad things have been and I told him about the other “him”.

He has been so supportive and he would really like the other “him” to go away and let him try to make life fun for me again. He knows I was scammed and that the scammer still contacts me regularly and he wants me to close my facebook, which isn’t a bad idea.

I like my fb but if I have to close it to get him out of my life then I guess I have to close it. It’s not like I have real friends on there, I have one and he is an old boyfriend from high school. His wife died of cancer and with Bob dieing of cancer as well, we have a common bond.

I like “C” a lot and he is so damn handsome with that long dark hair and those eyes, those damn eyes are gorgeous and I think it’s time to get physically close. I just need that touch from another body and I do not mean sex.

I like being naked and feeling skin on skin and yes I want to have sex with him and I have no reason not to now do I? I believe it’s time to let a man in my life and my body and I am so attracted to him that holding back is so damn hard.

I like spooning naked and feeling a man against my tailbone, I enjoy a man’s arm resting on my breasts and I enjoy the smell and feel of a man. I have denied myself this wonderful pleasure for many years but this week that will all change, finally.

I do know that once we have sex there will not be anyone else in my life, not online, not on facebook no where because I cannot be involved totally when there is a distraction. So I am eliminating all distractions and moving forward with this wonderful man.

X Me Please

Breaking up is hard to do when you are the one being dumped but when you are the “dumper” it feels like such a weight off of your shoulders. I always felt so bad when dumping someone and I would always say “it’s me not you”, when in fact it was me and not them. They just didn’t have that zing I needed in my relationships and more likely than not it was sexual incompatibility for me.

I know, I am slutty right? I demand a healthy sex life and one that  is adventurous and I will not apologize for limiting missionary. I am not sorry I am sexually expressive or find the missionary style so damn boring. I demand a healthy sex life or my relationships just fizzle as so many have done prior to my marriage and included my marriage.

I am not over sexed I just have a healthy attitude toward sex and relationships and if dumping someone because the were a lousy kisser or lousy in bed is the first step to a happy life. Sex and money destroy a relationship so easily so why settle for something or someone who doesn’t fulfill you?

The Failure Dater

I have dubbed myself the failure dater because I am sadly failing at something that should be so easy to master. Dating requires being so many different things and tolerant is one of them. I have very little tolerance for bullshit and I have no tolerance for anyone that has a problem with my kids.

This is exactly why letting my kids meet anyone I may be dating is something that I do not entertain. I have got to have some sort of solid relationship with the guy before he meets my kids. A man who has problems with my kids can damn well bet he is going to have problems with me slamming the door in his face.

There is no man worth disrupting my family for and I do know that if I am happy my kids will be happy for me. That doesn’t mean that you get to come to dinner anytime soon, so live with it or don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. Don’t think you can undo stupid remarks either because you can’t.

I see to many women go for a man and throw their kids to the wayside and that pisses me off. No woman should be so desperate for a man who their kids come second and same with men raising their kids. Have enough respect for your children as well as yourself not to disrupt what you have spent a lifetime building.

I’m sitting here watching some stupid crap my son likes to watch and my daughter is already in bed. It’s nice to have both kids at home and it is comforting for me. I know they are both safe and it feels right as this is my family, just the three of us but we have more love than you could ever imagine.