I Don’t Know

I don’t know what I feel anymore, I don’t know what he ever felt if anything at all. I have no place in this world I feel comfortable and at peace, it’s as if I have to fight constantly. I feel so uneasy in the place that I am at and I noticed when we talked this morning there was silent moments where neither of us knew what to say.

That says volumes and now I know, there is no place with you that I belong. It’s time for both of us to move on, it’s hard to say but I feel it best, that we put this relationship to rest as it is going nowhere and you know it as well as I, it’s been nothing but one big lie. I was there for you and you for me but we are stronger now and we can move on.

It’s not with anger I say these words but a gentler and kinder person inside me now. Three and 1/2 years we have kept in touch but the lies have piled up and left me with so much sorrow. You think I don’t know who you are, yes I do and wonder why you would even think of me as I have nothing left to offer you. 

Don’t feel sad don’t feel lonely you have AB to warm your home and your bed, so just say goodbye and let go, it’s best for both of us don’t you know? I will be I will be ok, I was just stupid and thought one day that you and I would be happy together but I’m not for you as I am not arm candy, like you once said, “have you taken a look at yourself” no I’m not pretty, thin and young I am just me I am a special one.

Lost Without You

It’s so hard to walk away from someone you love, not out of anger-no there was no fight. It’s just the feeling of helplessness, the it’s never going to be feeling. I do not know if I am giving up to soon and things will turn around and we will be together or if I am dragging my heart behind me looking for a safe place to mend?

I really have no desire to date but I am forcing myself to at least register on the sites. It’s hard when you’re heart isn’t into it and not even a hot looking guy excites you. It’s really a rather sad situation as I have no clue what to do, I love him that much. Am I a fool or a hopeless romantic?