I really like fall and walking hand in hand in the park, enjoying the fall colors and the cool air. I like hot cider and donuts and fresh apples to bake apple strudel, fritters, pies ect. This time of year is so damn lonely for me as I have no one to walk with and enjoy the weather with.

The fall is so gloomy and really brings be down and I can see nothing but clouds and no sunshine. I need sunshine to keep me from getting the winter blues. My stalker I will never meet and trying to wean myself from that situation as it is not beneficial to me what so ever. I wish I knew what he wanted from me or if he has just gotten so caught up I am like drinking coffee every morning or reading the paper. 

It’s as if I have become  a habit or a good novel to keep up with. He sees how I am fighting and does nothing to help me so I guess he really doesn’t care and why should he anyway?

Dead Leaves

I sat looking out the window at the dying grass and the leaves that had already fallen off the trees. I looked at the leaves on the trees and I thought of us. There used to be such vibrance such life between us but as I look at the leaves on the ground once again I think of us.

Two people who have fallen from the tree to wither and die into the winter season. I look at the fallen apples and I think what lovely fruit we could have shared but the apples are now rotting and that is what I feel at this moment.

A rotting love that had a chance but now is decaying away and going back into the earth. Why didn’t you reach to me in a way I could understand? Why didn’t you take the time to come to me? Why don’t you let me go? let me try to find a new love?

You’ve had so many women but I am not yours and never will be, you have always gotten what you wanted because you could either buy it or talk it into your favor. I am a person and money won’t move me and neither will fame.

I am talking with someone who I am interested in and I would like to move on past you as you and I are just that, two separate people that will never be one because you wish it not to happen. I wanted your love so bad but you didn’t want mine.

I tried I really did but you didn’t so it’s time to let go and let me have some happiness and you do the same, if you ever have time for me let me know, we could have a drink and dinner and chat at least and that would be nice, wouldn’t it?