Preferences

I have a preference for men with shoulder length hair because I like to run my fingers through it. I like tall men because they make me feel safe. I like funny men because laughter is good, I like men to take control most of the time but I like to take control at times. I like to kiss, kissing is romantic and I like romance.

I like men that smell good because I can smell them on my pillow when they are gone. I like to shave from the neck down to toes because I do not like hair or the odor of it on the body. I like a man who smiles, smiling is inviting and warm, I like to hold hands because it is an unspoken connection.

I like to feed a man in bed because I do.I like to massage each other with nice oils and I like to bathe a man. I like to listen to a man about his day, dreams, hopes  wishes. I like to watch a man do what he likes to do the most and I like to watch movies with a man. I just like men, period.

Commit The Fingers

I like running my fingers through soft long hair on men, I love long hair on men period. It feels so good to run your fingers slowly through someone’s hair, don’t ask me why it just does. I have had men that loved running their fingers through my hair because it is so thick and soft.

I love to snuggle and make out and run my fingers through a man’s hair all at once, it is so hot and I find it a turn on. Some people like long hair and some don’t but my preference has always been long hair on  guys. I find them to be so much more sexy and I find it to get me so excited.

I am trying to decide if I should cut my hair or continue to grow it long and I really can’t make up my mind. It is kind of a pain in the ass and it gets knotted in the back which is a real pain to comb out. It is easy to take care of though and that is why I like it so much. I hate curling and primping and I just like to brush and go.

 

Lip Service

He says he is tired of being apart and he thinks of me all the time and will figure out a way to come to me. Do I believe this? No, it’s just lip service as far as I am concerned, just some more words that are just that words. I think he is just trying to keep me on the hook so I won’t go anywhere.

Well, everything comes to an end sooner or later and I do not see us ever getting together. It’s not because I don’t want to, no it’s because he is afraid that something he did to me will come back to haunt him. What he did is done and over with, in the past and it’s over simple as that. If he wanted to be with me he would, simple as that.

I do not know why he insists on hanging on, to what? Pictures and a voice on the phone? I have given up all hope of ever meeting him because I know it will never happen, no matter what he says. I am just not someone he wants to be seen with evidently which is his prerogative.

I’m a hell of a good person and as far as I am concerned it’s his loss not mine and he can keep moving ahead with AB and see where that ends up. Who knows, maybe she is the one he will marry, but I wouldn’t bet on it, nope nada never going to happen but let them play while they can before it blows up in their faces.

Layers Of Life

As we get older it’s as if our lives are like layers of an onion. I am not like the usual person who knows what and where they want their life to head. I have never known what I want to do or be, I am quite talented in sales and can sell anything to just about anyone, I was an electrician, real estate agent, hi -low driver in chemical company,

worked in a restuarant and a fast food restaurant.

I also went to cosmetology school and hotel management and culinary arts degree, which I am 2 classes short of my associates. I have done so many things but cannot find the one thing I really like to do and enjoy. The only thing that comes to mind is taking care of a man.

Please do not confuse me with the wimpy wife as I am not, I just really enjoy taking care of a man and when he shows his appreciation it makes me feel like a million bucks. I love to cook and feed people, it’s the one thing I am damn good at. The thing that tickles me is men think I am so strong and get intimidated by me.

I am such a go with the flow person until I get crossed or pissed, then watch out. I’m the type of person that is ready to go in a minute and will go anywhere, anytime and don’t care. I love a good mystery and just fooling around, I’m a big kid but I am shy until you get to know me.

Who’s Really There?

There’s no tomorrow without you by my side, there is no today without your hand in mine, there is no yesterday because you were not at my side. I am so strong you say but do you know how really weak I am? Do you know my tears shed so often over the thought of you and I?

I do not want you to come to me as you are not yet free to chose your choosings and I do not want to be a result of one of your choices. I want you to come to me freely, openly and honestly and until you can do that I do not want you.

You have tried to replace me but you cannot and will not because I am irreplaceable, I am not like others, I am a gem in a hidden box upon the highest shelf, I hide from those that want only my worth and none of my inner beauty.

I am not of the devil and I am not of the sea, I am of the heavens yes look up that is me, I am of God’s work I am of his vision. I bring to the earth the special package from my Lord and in it is a gift to you. It is the power and wisdom to know what you need more than what you want.

Take this gift and open it, breathe it into your soul or world, your heart. Follow the path and cherish the journey as you are a shaper of the mind and hearts of many, you set the growth and fill idealism of many a child as well as adult.

Your gift has been rewarding but do you know how many you have rewarded? Do you know how many lives you have changed? shaped? directed? I am so proud of the man you are as you have learned wisely from years of walking the edge.

Your heart is pure no matter how black it has been at times, you do not see the man in the mirror, no you do not see the colors you have painted so many a world. You bite down on yourself and do not see the worth within yourself and that is sometimes quite sad.

You are a man of humanity and humility, you suffer in silence while smiling at the world, no one sees your tears, feels your sobs or wipes your tears, it is a lonely life you live, such a very lonely life for such a man. I pray for your happiness every day and I pray for you to accept inner peace and accept me into your life.