Kleen X

I have two adorable miniature yorkies that keep me laughing and of course picking up. They have a thing for toilet paper, paper ect. and they love to tear it up. They got a hold of the toilet paper roll and now I have bits and pieces of paper everywhere. These little guys make me so happy and they make me laugh until I pee.

Pet therapy is wonderful and so helpful when you are down and out and even my son is taken by them. He is actually cleaning up after them for a change. I let Ryan hold them on the way home when I bought them and they think he is their “daddy”. They follow him everywhere and take their naps with him.

Many years ago I used to raise exotic birds and I had everything from finches to a hyacinth macaw and I would take my baby cockatiels and go to a nursing home. I gave the elderly babies and supplies all the food and necessities. A lot of the elderly had no family that visited them and the birds filled a void.

Pets can make us feel so much better and Michael and Gabriel keep me on my toes. They are so small and they run like little gazelle’s through the house. My house is set up so you can run down the hall and through the kitchen to the great room and back to the hall so there is a complete circle which has turned into doggie derby, lol.

Khloe kitty loves the boys, lol they fight and play and Khloe does the hide jump maneuver which is hilarious to watch. She thinks she is hiding and when the pups walk bye she jumps on the and plays. This house is like a racetrack as these three chase each other and they put love and life back into my home.

Some Things Are Just Funny

I think the one thing that makes everyone laugh is when someone farts. I think it is hilarious especially when I am the one doing the “every step farting”. The kids and I let em lose all the time and we always laugh. I cannot think of anything else that makes me laugh like farting.

  We have so many different kinds of farts and some are seriously dangerous. That silent but deadly a.k.a. as the sbd fart is the one that is a killer when in a closed area like a car or elevator. Then we have the wet one that always leaves a bit of itself behind and then you have those “little poppers” that are short but loud enough to make their presence known.

You cannot tell me you are not laughing as you read this because farts are funny and all of us laugh. First we laugh at the sound and then when the odor is real pungent we begin to laugh again. I just crack up and can’t help myself and no I do not feel sorry for the guilty one, because  most of the time it’s me, lol.


Most Embarrassing

I have experienced some of the most embarrassing moments anyone could ever have. I have walked out of the ladies room with my skirt tucked into my slip for all to see, I have also had toilet paper for days follow me out of the restroom.

Last week my daughter and I were shopping and as we started to walk down the escalator I had one of those tiny explosions between my legs not be so tiny. Every step I took another fart escaped and my daughter and I just started cracking up because it was like ten farts in a row before they finally stopped

Ok, you laugh at me but how many of you have been in line to pay for something and one of those silent but deadlies escaped and you acted like it was the person behind you? Or completely ignored it all together until the smell almost knocked you out?

I had my son go into my wallet to get some money and he found my “friendly bullet”  which comforts me when I am out and about, yes a mini vibrator. He just said “mom, what in the hell is this in your purse?” I just cracked up and said my vibrator.

He dropped my wallet and said you get the money, lol. Then there are the moments of others faux paux. At my husband’s funeral a friend of his said “he couldn’t look better if he were dead” now that was an embarrassing moment for sure.

Embarrassing moments are usually funny but sometimes they aren’t but I still laugh anyway. Someone once asked me if it was hard to put on a prosthetic when the person is dead, like I know the answer to that? I am sure it isn’t easy………




The Silly In Me

Have you ever been in a restaurant with someone and the conversation went flat? Neither of you speaking but looking out the window or at the other patrons? I think this has happened to all of us at one time or another, these are the moments I absolutely love because that is when I do really stupid shit.

I have been known to pick up the paper napkin and tear a whole in the center of it and stick my tongue through it at the person I am with. I do not care if I know them or not it breaks up the dead silence and both of us ended up laughing. That is the kind of silly that is harmless and fun.

Being silly keeps us young at heart and adventurous and it’s just plain fun, sometimes reality is much better than to have to be drunk or high to enjoy it. I am silly and love being that way and I do hope you enjoy my knock off pic of the adams family, it, remember it? Ok so I don’t look as good as him, o fuck yourself I look better, lol.


Why is it you wash two sox and when you take them out of the dryer, there isn’t two but only one?

Why is it you buy a ten pack of hotdogs and can only buy an eight pack of buns?

Why is it your kids wait until Sunday night to do their laundry and want you to stay up and put it in the dryer?

Why is it nobody can change the toilet paper roll?

Why is it nobody wants to fold towels but uses them?

Why is it when the kids through something away and they miss the  will walk by it a million times?

Why is it the history books don’t teach our kids about Vietnam?

These are some of the why’s that bother me but the toilet paper roll really pisses me off!