Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does anything I say have any affect on you? Who am I meant to be? What am I meant to do? Who am I meant to love? Where am I meant to be? These questions are troublesome as I cannot answer any of them and I am supposed to be so strong and intelligent.
I have kind of just drifted around for the past four years, not knowing who I am or who I want to be. I am sure I am not the only person that feels this way. I need a new challenge as life is stale and moldy, I need something exciting and invigorating if anything like that exists.
I was just thinking that I live better than a lot of people and a lot of people live much better than I do but I am complete as far as material shit. I really want for nothing but I can tell you I have a deeply restless soul that wants to fly like a bird to the place I dream of changing one day.
I don’t focus on that dream because I am not in the right place yet to make my dream come true. Most women have the dream of getting married but I have been there and done that and no, it wasn’t all it was cut out to be but I do have a motto that I will try anything once.
I have a little over two more years to go before my son will be off in college and I will be totally alone and yes I am going to be loving it. I have realized that I do have a purpose and yes I will fulfill my purpose in a matter of time, time heals all wounds and brings good things as well.
Everyone has a dream that they think of once in a while and everyone dreams a different dream. I know people who dream of a fancy new car or house or boat ect. they all dream for material things. Things that have no meaning at the end of the day or the end of their life.
Dreams are special and I really wonder how many people have their dreams come true. I wonder how they reacted when their dream burst forth before their eyes. I wonder if their eyes filled with tears or if they smiled so much their cheeks hurt. I wonder how their dream changed their life.
My dream is simple it’s so simple that it’s sad that it hasn’t come true and I do not know if it ever will. My dream is to be with the man I love, the man who is imbedded in my heart and he is always in my dreams. My dream is to make him happy because making him happy makes me happy.
I don’t ask for a castle, fancy car, closet full of new clothes or buillon, all I ask for is love, that is it in a nutshell just love me and let me love you. I would be completely fulfilled if he was in my arms but I can only dream and hope and pray that you fulfill my dream. I am asking too much?
Do you believe in happily ever after? Do you believe there is someone special out there just for you? Would you wait years for this person? Do you believe in magic?Do you believe in angels?
Well, the foolish woman who I am does believe and I do not feel one bit foolish for believing. All we have in this world is hope and dreams and when you give those up you have given away your life. Everyone will have their hopes and dreams met eventually but they will not be on a grand scale.
Most will find a simple life filled with love they never knew they could have and their lives will overflow with happiness. Am I waiting for someone who will never appear? Will I end up with a shattered heart? I need answers to these questions because if there is never going to be an us, I want to get through the pain now, so please step up and tell me, please?