Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does anything I say have any affect on you? Who am I meant to be? What am I meant to do? Who am I meant to love? Where am I meant to be? These questions are troublesome as I cannot answer any of them and I am supposed to be so strong and intelligent.
I have kind of just drifted around for the past four years, not knowing who I am or who I want to be. I am sure I am not the only person that feels this way. I need a new challenge as life is stale and moldy, I need something exciting and invigorating if anything like that exists.
I was just thinking that I live better than a lot of people and a lot of people live much better than I do but I am complete as far as material shit. I really want for nothing but I can tell you I have a deeply restless soul that wants to fly like a bird to the place I dream of changing one day.
I don’t focus on that dream because I am not in the right place yet to make my dream come true. Most women have the dream of getting married but I have been there and done that and no, it wasn’t all it was cut out to be but I do have a motto that I will try anything once.
I have a little over two more years to go before my son will be off in college and I will be totally alone and yes I am going to be loving it. I have realized that I do have a purpose and yes I will fulfill my purpose in a matter of time, time heals all wounds and brings good things as well.
I have this dream that I can not let go of and it’s so foolish of me as I will only be let down anyway. I already know my impossible dream is just that impossible. I cannot make anyone do as I wish and I do not want to control anyone anyway, I just want my impossible dream to come alive.
I wish my impossible dream would come true, for my birthday at least. I want what I cannot have and doubt that I ever will but I still continue to dream my impossible dream. So many of us have an impossible dream am I am almost ready to give up on mine. You know what that impossible dream is?
Of course you know and only you can make it happen but will you be that loving and kind? Will you show me what I have waited so long for? Will you leave me to cry myself to sleep? Will you call me on my birthday? Of course you will call, it’s your way, why can’t you come to me? Just once, just for a few minutes, just for a moment?
Everyone has a dream that they think of once in a while and everyone dreams a different dream. I know people who dream of a fancy new car or house or boat ect. they all dream for material things. Things that have no meaning at the end of the day or the end of their life.
Dreams are special and I really wonder how many people have their dreams come true. I wonder how they reacted when their dream burst forth before their eyes. I wonder if their eyes filled with tears or if they smiled so much their cheeks hurt. I wonder how their dream changed their life.
My dream is simple it’s so simple that it’s sad that it hasn’t come true and I do not know if it ever will. My dream is to be with the man I love, the man who is imbedded in my heart and he is always in my dreams. My dream is to make him happy because making him happy makes me happy.
I don’t ask for a castle, fancy car, closet full of new clothes or buillon, all I ask for is love, that is it in a nutshell just love me and let me love you. I would be completely fulfilled if he was in my arms but I can only dream and hope and pray that you fulfill my dream. I am asking too much?
We come into this world innocent and pure and then we are molded into who we are by out parents. We are taught that marriage is forever, friends will always be friends, someone who goes to college is smarter than someone who doesn’t and we are taught to believe in happily ever after.
Pink unicorns do not appear in my backyard and the swing set isn’t made from candy canes. The ground isn’t covered with gumdrops or licorice. There are no fairies, not even a munchkin, no ruby slippers, no good witch. The bad bitch I mean witch across the street is about as ugly as it gets.
I dream in the daytime and dream in Technicolor at night, I dream of world peace, I dream of love and happiness, I dream of smiles and rainbows, I dream of being with my great love and being happy forever, I dream of green meadows and horses running free and I dream of clean water running in streams.
But most of all I dream of one person, that person holds my heart, has all of my love and is so special to me. There is one person that I get strength from and one person that knows how very sensitive I am and loves me for it. There is one person I need and it’s him alone I wait for.
Most girls dream of growing up and living in the house on the corner with the white picket fence and 2.5 children. I never had that dream as a little girl, no I chose to dream bigger and boy did I lol. I have had this dream my entire life.
The dream I have never shared with anybody because I think it’s so not ever going to happen. I have always thought that my lover, my special soul mate would whisk me away to paris for lunch, lol. I know it’s ridiculous but that is a dream I have always had.
I just think it’s so damn romantic and that’s why one of my favorite movies is The Thomas Crown Affair remake. It is an awesome movie that really makes you think. There are billionaires that get bored and take off to the other side of the world just because.
I don’t want anything like that, no I just want that romantic connection that is safe and secure. I feel that my life is going to change very quickly and things are going to come my way which will require much thinking and quick decision making.
I know I sound like Im a nut but that’s just what I feel and my feelings are generally right on. It would be nice if my dream could come true but I’m not holding my breath. It’s just fun to have a little dream to yourself and no one has ever realized your dream.