Sitting In A Chair

Are you still

Sitting in the chair

Thinking  about

Me?

Are you thinking about

We-us?

Have you 

Weighed her

Against

I

Well all I can

Do is

Sigh

You need

To decide

Who is

Really in

Your heart

And where

You want to

Be

You know that

I am

Unique

And incomparable

But you still

Compare us

Anyway

Don’t waste

Your time

Because I am

Different

And will

Always be

Who you

See-

 

Weeping Fall

I think fall is such a romantic time of year and two people can grow together rather quickly because fall is when things go dormant. It is a time to put to rest troubles and worries and it is time to open one up to accept what is headed their way.

I think fall is sexy the weather gets cool and cuddling and hand holding is sought. The perfect time for a romance to  begin to bud is in the fall. There is something so romantic about the fall and I think it makes me want to be close to someone.

Relationships started in the fall have a certain advantage I think because the fall is the “physical” time to start a relationship. Look at all the spring babies born that is proof enough that the fall romance is very physical and unique.

I have never been in love and if I can’t have a relationship that is “Je ne sais quoi” then I don’t want a relationship or love. Love should not be describalbe, it should be so deep and all consuming that you  cannot describe it.

I finally started to pack for this trip, lol all I can say is what a slut I am! Yes a 53 yr old woman can be a slut when she chooses to be and I guess it’s time for this old girl to let her hair down. I think I need this trip worse than I originally thought.

Multi-Dating

How do you feel about dating more than one person at a time? Or living with someone and you are the new flavor and she has become nothing but “filler” in his life? There are people that must have someone in their life at all times and others like myself that doesn’t need that space constantly filled.

Some people need to have feelings stronger for someone else before they can make the move they know they should have made a long time ago. The relationship is comfortable and she has been there for him and they like each other as people.

He just doesn’t feel the spark and fireworks he wants to feel, he feels it when he is talking with the other one and of course she is none the wiser. They meet, click, really click and then he has some tough work to do and his life becomes hell for a while.

He is willing to do what he must to finally have what he has wanted for so long and she is finally here with him by his side and he is feeling everything ten fold now. He makes his presence known to her online by the fb pokes and the subtle posts.

I think you should make your move first and then do your searching because to many emotions get involved and people get hurt. I hope that isn’t the case here but one never knows now does one? Wouldn’t it be scary for me to open the room door to a midget, bald and talks like a munchkin? lol

The Heart Knows

It’s always been so strange to listen to my friends tell me how “in love” they were because I never felt that, ya when I was thirteen but not since then so I guess that makes me an odd ball. I was always to embarrassed to ask them what it felt like to be in love.

Ya, I made out, got felt up and felt down a few myself but nothing that shook the earth, made me not eat, sleep or think of anything else, my heart never skipped the beat or came close once to missing the beat. I’ve never blown off friends for a guy or changed plans.

I have never felt that all consuming feeling that makes you stupid and do real dumb things, until one day I was struck with this lightening bolt of emotion out of no where. I started getting these stupid grins on my face as I day dreamed about him, thought of him constantly and always distracted by worrying or wondering what was up with him.

I have found myself becoming more physical with my body every time I think of him and he makes me want to make love. He makes me passionate and feel desirable, he makes me like who I am and he makes me laugh and smile.

It’s very difficult to understand where someone is coming from when you are reading chat as there is no flection no voice to way the meaning behind the words. You know you have a connection with someone when you know they finally get you and understand your off the wall humor.

Well, he is finally getting me and that feels good because he has misread me for so long, thinking I thought I was better then others, smarter, and I do not know what else. He is finally seeing that I am an asshole, yes I am but I say it all with humor.

I never call anyone anything I wouldn’t call myself so yes I am an asshole, are you  into anal sex? Grab a coat and have some tunnel love, lol told you I was an asshole. I have been in such a silly mood lately, really playful and free and it’s fun as hell.

It’s fun feeling good and playful and it’s fun looking forward to a week away with a man that actually can talk beyond steel mill mentality. That’s one thing about Detroit being a factory and steel mill county, people never bettered themselves because the money was good in fact great.

Hell, my own husband never read a thing, o I take that back he had no problem reading the checks that we got from my investing. Shit, he tried to throw away books because he hated me to read and not make him the focus of my world.

I am just so damn excited about this trip, I cannot even tell you and I need this so bad and I am sure he needs it worse than I do but together we will be burning down the house. He is going to have more fun than he has ever had in his entire life.

Stalk Me Y

Have you ever been stalked by someone online? I have been stalked by one individual for literally several years now. I know, this is weird but I think he is the one that God has prepared me for and I am not crazy, no I believe that our paths are before us.

I have always felt a connection with this individual, a connection that is quite strange as we have never met. I do not understand it, not really but it’s as if we have become good friends. I guess you must first understand that he has been here through some terrible times for me.

I have been deathly ill and he is the one that talked me into going to the hospital. He kept me company when I was in ICU. He has been here since my husband and father both passed in less than a year, he has been here when I was thrown in jail, (that’s another story) he has been here when all my dogs had to be adopted out.

So you see, he has been there for me which is odd, I know but he’s been there what more can I say? I have suffered quite a bit of loss, more than most and I have had some really fucked up things happen to me in the last year and one half.

I wonder if my “stalker” isn’t in love with me as it appears that way, why else would he keep me off the internet because I was communicating with other guys, he would pretend to be different guys on the dating sites I have been on, he is on my fb as a zillion different guys.

Yes, he is very good with computers and could be an excellent hacker if he chose. He is on my computers and he is always trying to stay on my computer as well. He has refused to show himself or tell me his name but he is always there. What in the hell does he want?

Jealousy

Have you ever wondered what makes us feel jealous? What puts the defensive mode in action? Why do some people feel none or very little jealousy while others are overtaken by it? I was watching a movie and there were two girls/women talking and one was quite obvious jealous and her actions made me stop and think.

I wonder what does cause jealousy? I am being to think it’s part of our past when some of us had to deal with the feeling of “abandonment”. Then I begin to think what if jealousy is a “protective mechanism” and is it normal to feel jealousy to a certain point.

I seem to question quite a few things but this one really has me a bit puzzled. You can always tell when the person you are with begins to show signs of jealousy. They turn cold and ignore you, they’re mood turns from happy or content to unhappy. The one’s that go off the deep end and starts stalking you online or around your home, slashes tires, breaks windows and shit like that is like the third depth of jealousy you can go.

Some people just go on a serious nut and lose control of all common sense. I can understand jealousy but haven’t felt it in so long that I do not recall how it feels. As far as I can remember, jealousy sucks and doesn’t feel good at all. Who in the hell wants to be controlled by their emotions for another person?

I have watched couples together and the woman time and time again does something to stir jealousy in her date. I find this to be very immature and definitely shows lack of maturity required for a committment. So many want the relationship but they want it their way. As far as I’m concerned a relationship with regular bouts of jealousy is not one that will stand the test of time and the “life span” of the relationship is three to six months at best. I’m the type that doesn’t screw around when I am jealous.

 I do remember reminding someone who they were with many moons ago. Ya bitch, you’re with me and if you want to be with someone else, I’m outa here. No games, no beating around the bush, just straight to the brain to really look at and examine.  I do not care for jealousy from myself or others and I think there should never be room for jealousy.

I think to make another jealous is a deliberate way to cause hurt and uncomfortable emotions between two individuals. I would hope that most adults do not even dabble in the jealousy game because it doesn’t do any good for anyone.