All Different

Ryan got suspended on Friday and I have been trying all week to get him into another school. We finally had our “interview” with the principal and counselor this morning. I think this is a good move for Ryan and myself because this boy is draining me. He is so moody and he is like on an emotional rollercoaster.

He has had it pretty darn rough for a kid and this change may be what the doctored ordered. I have gotten him involved in my little business of selling junk and books on ebay and amazon. We are averaging 1 item per day which isn’t bad considering I only started listing two weeks ago.

There is a trick to selling on amazon and I figured it out pretty quickly and I am thinking about doing an online business reselling on ebay for other people. I know this has been tried in a building and doesn’t work but online may be different. It’s easy enough to make money and maybe it’s not a lot but it does build over time.

The kids get a kick out of me doing the amazon thing because I am selling stuff you never would think would sell, lmao. It is so true one man’s junk is another man’s treasure. Everytime I sell something I text the kids and say cha  ching and they crack up, it’s something all of us can be involved with and it’s fun as well.

My kids make me laugh because they tell me they cannot believe that I am actually getting money for selling junk, lol. They are always asking if I have sold anything else for that day, lmao. This is like a running a mail order business which is so easy as I had several mail order company’s years ago.

The kids are learning a thing or two from their hairbrained mother and I can see I have amazed my kids. You know kids have a way of making us feel invincible and they make us proud of ourselves, kids are just unique individuals who see us for who we really are, crazy or not.

Education Station

Well, my son managed to get himself suspended from school last Friday. I have been trying to get him registered in a high school down the street for troubled kids. There are pregnant teens, teens with babies, drug and theft issues and you name it.

The high school has daycare and special counseling for these kids. Ryan will hopefully fit in and I am sure he will. I also think he will be very helpful to the girls because he loves kids and is so good with them.

I am so hoping he gets a girlfriend and I think this school is the perfect “catching” ground for him. He hates school and I can’t blame him because he gets so bored because he is to smart, like his grandfather was.

Both of my kids are very smart and Shelby will probably be valedictorian or valedictorian. Ryan excels at the classes he likes and he hates religion and going to mass. He wants me to take him to school so he can get his things from his locker.

I think he wants me to take him so he can tell the principal to fuck off. The principal will get pissed and look at me for parental take over but all I would be able to do is look at him and tell him I agree with Ryan.

Sometimes, you have to take your kids side when you feel the same way and not be a hypocrite and do one thing and say another. I think I will take him so he has something to brag about to the new kids he is to meet.

I am so thrilled these kids have someone to talk to, in fact numerous people to talk to and as soon as my son gets a gf, it’s condom shopping straight away.

I hope he knows how to use them because I am not showing him, well maybe I guess I can get out a banana but then I would embarrass the shit out of him. I am sure he knows how to use one, I think-hell I don’t know.

 

The Chase Has Ended

I recently realized that chasing someone is a complete waste of time and does nothing for the self-esteem. If you really care for someone you let them know and if they show you nothing in return you know where you stand. It has taken me almost four years to finally wake up.

I am very awake now and have given all I have to let him know how I feel but he shows me nothing. My birthday was Friday and he didn’t even call me so I am done. I was fortunate enough to have run into someone who night and we had a fantastic time and have had a good time since.

The guy that I am spending my time with now is someone who I enjoy talking to and we seem to blend very well together. He just ended his marriage in a divorce and my husband died last year so both of us are free. He isn’t American and that makes me very happy because foreign men are quite different and more of a gentleman.

He made me a wonderful dinner tonight until the dreaded phone call came, his mother had a heart attack and he had to go to the hospital and I felt so bad for him. I offered to come with him but I explained that it really wasn’t my place but if he wanted I would go with him. We decided it would be best if he went alone but he has called me several times letting me know how she is doing.

That is very thoughtful of him and I think he just needed someone to talk to and I listened. I like him and enjoy our time together and I am just taking it a day at a time. I am in no hurry to be in a committed relationship and we have discussed this but I feel like he is moving to fast for me.

I haven’t smiled or laughed this much in years and it is about time and he makes me feel good about myself. He has started to call me a nickname and we just went out for the first time Friday. He is very affectionate in his manner and he is always holding my hand or has his arm around me and he hasn’t tried to jump my bones as of yet.

He does all the things a real gentleman does and he is always asking if I would like this or that and I always say no which is bothering him. He doesn’t understand why I do not want his gifts and he feels insulted because I have refused to take them from him. I cannot get through to him that I do not want or need his presents, I just want to spend time with him and enjoy our time together.

He seems to think he must buy me things and that isn’t me and he seems to think that is really strange. He told me he has done this with every woman he has ever been with. I have explained to him that a gift isn’t going to change the way I feel about him and it surely will not make me love him.

He says I am very different from any woman he has ever dated and he didn’t understand me and has never had any woman ever turn down his gifts. I told him I am not like other women and I would appreciate if he would respect that and just accept me for me and not compare me to other women, hopefully he will stop the comparison and appreciate me for me.

Just Another Friday

Friday is my fifty-third birthday and it will have the same lack luster as every other day. My mother hasn’t sent me a birthday card in over thirty years and she never calls either. My kids won’t think much of it either but my daughter will say happy birthday to me and maybe my son will remember as well.

I know I shouldn’t expect anything and I don’t not really but it would be nice to have the man I love acknowledge my birthday with something besides a call. I am not greedy, I just would like to see a little appreciation from him that he at least cares. I simple birthday card can say so much.

Will he do anything to let me know he at least cares? No, he will do what he does every year, nothing. So why do I waste my time loving him? Damn good question and I ask myself that same question a lot lately. He said to me last night that my son and I are basically a mess.

Fuck you, is exactly what I said back, we are a mess? Look at yourself and see how damn happy you are, you aren’t happy at all and submerge yourself into work. I don’t care anymore because when you say anything about my kids you have basically severed all ties with me.

If I meant half as much to him as he claims then he would be here with me and not say a damn thing about my child. I am responsible for my  kids and bringing them into this world and when you say anything negative about them or myself you can just go screw yourself, that is fighting words and severing ties words.