Day Dilema

What a day, wow I am glad it is time to relax. Had to drive an hour to pick up my yorkie puppies, Michael and Gabriel and they are brothers but the personalities are quite different and distinct already.

I shouldn’t have spent the money on them but it’s time for me to love me and show myself some kindness and buy myself something I have wanted since my other guys were given away.

I told the kids do not buy me anything for xmas because I got the puppies. I have started to pick up a few items for Shelby and she is coming over tomorrow for dinner. We had a huge fight yesterday and then I thought about it.

It’s hard for me to  accept that I am wrong and say I am sorry but I do do it. I had to finally admit to myself and my daughter that her living at her boyfriends and graduating from high school is hard for me.

I am losing someone I love very much but I have to let her make her own way in this world and under the circumstances it isn’t fair to her. It is hard to admit that your child is growing up, no let me rephrase that, she is grown up.

It has been so hard on her and her senior year without her dad has been really hard for her and her graduation is going to be hard for me. I’ve got her a job lines up with my attorney and she will be going to college in the fall and working.

I feel so bad that Bob spent the kids college money but what can I do? Maybe it is a good thing who knows. I am trying to pay off school and put money away to get her a car for graduation.

Ryan got expelled yesterday and I think that is also a blessing, it saves me money on tuition and Ryan is going to an alternative school which is for troubled and pregnant, trying to get these kids to graduation instead of dropping out.

The kids have grown up fast like Ryan and some have problems like Ryan and others have worse problems. Some classes may have 15 kids and some may only have 5 kids so this will be good.

The puppies have stolen Ryan’s heart and Michael took right to Ryan. Gabriel is just as cute but their personalities are so different. I am glad that Michael took to Ryan because it makes Ryan feel special.