Where Is The Laughter

It’s so quiet around the house and there is no laughter, Ry made me laugh and I miss him so much. He will possibly be transferred to another mental health facility for possibly up to ten days. If I refuse to pick him up from the hospital he will be going to a shelter and I cannot let that happen.

I’m so afraid to bring him home and he may try suicide again so I do not know what to do, I just cannot let my child go into a shelter until they can find him a home and if they did find him a home I am afraid that he will kill himself. I want my baby home and this is so hard for me.

This is the time I need “him” I wish he were here to hold me and make me feel something besides sadness, I am a good mom but sometimes I feel like a huge failure. So where has all the laughter gone? Will it ever return to my life? Am I ever going to be with the one I love or is that a pipe dream?

I’m pretty much stuck until after Christmas as I have a court date the end of this month and the end of December to wipe my record clean. Then I will have my life back finally and I can breathe slightly.