I was going to go to NY but I see no reason to spend money to meet someone that works until 8 p.m. and has no time for me anyway. He just wanted to get laid and that is just wrong as far as I am concerned and I was not good enough to stay with him and he doesn’t have a car.
This is not the type of person for me not at all and I am glad I have walked away from that situation. I want a relationship and I want to meet someone that is ready for a relationship but not necessarily ready to jump in head first.
I’m in no hurry to get involved with anyone but if you are reeling from a bad relationship then I am not the person to pick up those pieces. I have picked up my own life’s pieces and I am ready to move on but not desperate and not jumping in.
I have learned to be more cautious which I have demonstrated by changing my mind about NY. I do not want to be someones fuck and good time, no I am not going to be either. As far as “him” well he is no more and never will be again.
I miss him but one must do what is best for themselves and that is what I am doing. It would have been nice if we had met and found out if there was a mutual attraction but we did not and that is just the way it went. I still believe God has meant for us to be together but I no longer wait for him and will never wait for anyone again.
When you wait for three years and there is no meeting then it’s time to shelf it and I have had no choice but to do just that. I just move through the days and do what I must but I still have days that I am down in mouth so to speak.
I wish to no longer wish to meet him or waste time thinking about what could have been or could be but that will never happen so do what makes me happy and makes me feel good about myself. He no longer rules my decisions as you can see by me almost going to NY.
At this point Im looking for a guy friend, someone to hang with and have fun with, I so like men and get along with them so much better then women. It would be nice to hook up with someone and just be friends without the expectation of sex.
I do not want a relationship based on great sex alone and I want to have a meeting of the minds if that is possible. Fucking is not something you base a relationship on as even sex does tend to get old with the same person after awhile.
I tried so hard to liven up Bob’s and I sex life but he was so rigid there was no excitement allowed, no he just wanted to cum and go. There was no cuddling, kissing or touching and I was always left feeling empty and alone.
I want a rich relationship, rich in communication and love one that is all encompassing and consuming on both parts. Someone that will take the time to understand and to listen and who let’s the kid out and loves to laugh and share.
I do not want the perfect relationship, no I want the arguments and disagreements because that is what builds a relationship, how you deal with disagreements. I’m so go with the flow most of the time but there are times I put my foot down and you cannot budge me.
Maybe one day I will find my soul mate and we will live happily ever after and enjoy our lives together but as for now, things are just go from day to day with uneventful moments through out the day and court of course. I will have my record wiped clean come December which is a good thing.