You caress her and kiss her, you touch her all over and then you enter her but she is not me in any way shape or form. She doesn’t have what I have and you cannot fantasize about me when you are inside of her. You think you are in love with her? Fine have at it but we both know I am always in your mind, dreams and constantly in your thoughts.
You follow me through the internet wondering what I am really doing and whom I am with, you will never know if I am caressing his head as he lies between my thighs or if I am alone. I will not discuss personal information of that nature here and now or never.
You two are so happy together then why do you read my every word? Follow my twitter and fb? Why do you care what is going on in my life? Do you enjoy reading the trials and tribulations of my life as if I were a good novel? Do you get off on knowing that someone loves you beyond the word love and would do whatever to help you and make you happy?
Are you so self-centered that you get rock hard reading how much I love you and care for you? I am not one of your groupies and have no interest in your title or fame as you damn well know. You have no idea the feel of my arms, the sensual kisses I give and the way I can touch a man’s body that makes him shiver with delight.
You have no idea what my love is capable of doing to your world and you lie with her trying to fill the void that I fill but she never will. She will never be more than she is and you say you love her but not in love with her, it’s quite possible to love and not be in love and that is what you are, from what I gather.
You have fucked so many woman and that is all you have done is fuck, you have no real concept of what sensual love is because if you did you wouldn’t be with her. I will admit you are my great love but no man will ever be my entire world, not even you.
You two can go out and have a good time but the first chance you get you are reading my fb and my blog, so where is your heart? Do you even know? Do you even know what you really want of life or are you moving so fast all you can think about is the next country you must travel to?
Am I jealous? Envious? Hell no because she hasn’t gotten the best of you, just tidbits of a famous life that is but a memory. She has no idea who you really are and what really moves you, she can never know because you never will let her know.
I am not waiting for you as my life has it’s own agenda which doesn’t include you any longer. I am moving on and James is helping me. He is a wonderful person, so helpful, kind, loving and he is there when you are not. You haven’t even taken the time to call me to see how my son is.
James drove me to Detroit last night to sign Ryan into another hospital and he was kind enough to listen to me as I ranted, cried and felt so loss and hopeless. He hugged me like I haven’t been hugged in so many years and it felt good, comforting and he cares, where you do not.
It’s fine as I do not rely on you as you are not reliable or care enough to want to be with me in my time of deep need. There once was an open spot next to me in my bed for you but no longer as I have moved on even though you are my greatest love.