Jealousy Theory

I have finally figured out what triggers Ryan’s depression and attitude, it’s his sister. Ryan is obviously jealous that I enjoy my daughter’s visits and I want to be part of her life. His entire demeanor changes when she is around and he is mean and very moody. I am glad I go to counseling and will start family counseling again.

Shelby doesn’t like to be around Ryan because he acts this way and there is really no excuse for it. I spend all of my time with Ryan and very little time with Shelby but he still resents her being around. He is constantly comparing himself to her and that is what my husband did to my son.

My husband always made Shelby out to be the greatest kid alive and never made Ryan feel good about himself. I can only do so much and a boy needs positive reinforcement from his dad. I have tried to build up my sons self esteem but I can only do so much and then my hands are tied.

I am hoping this new school makes Ryan feel good and I know he will feel accepted which is a great thing for him. The principal is supposed to be really good with kids that don’t fit in and Ryan is one of those kids. I do not see why he doesn’t fit in but I am not a kid either.

Jealousy Controls

I used to be so jealous and it was a controller of my relationships, thank goodness that was in my twenties and younger. Jealousy can not only destroy a relationship it can also destroy the person feeling it. I finally out grew the controlling nature of jealousy and I still do get jealous, I think.

I am controlled by my emotions but that doesn’t include jealousy and controlling others. I do not like to be with a jealous person that cannot keep their emotions in check and I do not give others reason to be jealous. People use jealousy like they use love and it is quite unhealthy.

Jealousy seems to stem from insecurity and if you make me feel insecure once to often then there is no room for you in my life. I haven’t felt insecure in a relationship in so long I almost cannot remember how it feels, which is good. I do not need to make others feel insecure because I do not stay in any type of relationship that requires jealousy for validation.

Jealousy isn’t all bad and sometimes it is good but not to the degree that it leads to a huge blow up between two people. Every once in a while a healthy dose of jealousy can awaken what seems to have died. There are times when I have been accused of doing something I didn’t which provoked a jealous episode in someone.

I cannot help it if people are attracted to me or my personality and I cannot help it that I like men, I like them a lot as people and I do not lead anyone on. Men are naturally drawn to me and I have no idea why, really I do not it just happens and I get a long with gay men wonderfully, but don’t most women?

I have been in situations where I have been accused of “playing around” with another guy when I was with someone but that wasn’t true. I do not like to argue with anyone and making someone jealous will start an argument that doesn’t need to occur. I prefer to lavish my lover with attention, not someone who has no meaning in my life.

Jealousy

Have you ever wondered what makes us feel jealous? What puts the defensive mode in action? Why do some people feel none or very little jealousy while others are overtaken by it? I was watching a movie and there were two girls/women talking and one was quite obvious jealous and her actions made me stop and think.

I wonder what does cause jealousy? I am being to think it’s part of our past when some of us had to deal with the feeling of “abandonment”. Then I begin to think what if jealousy is a “protective mechanism” and is it normal to feel jealousy to a certain point.

I seem to question quite a few things but this one really has me a bit puzzled. You can always tell when the person you are with begins to show signs of jealousy. They turn cold and ignore you, they’re mood turns from happy or content to unhappy. The one’s that go off the deep end and starts stalking you online or around your home, slashes tires, breaks windows and shit like that is like the third depth of jealousy you can go.

Some people just go on a serious nut and lose control of all common sense. I can understand jealousy but haven’t felt it in so long that I do not recall how it feels. As far as I can remember, jealousy sucks and doesn’t feel good at all. Who in the hell wants to be controlled by their emotions for another person?

I have watched couples together and the woman time and time again does something to stir jealousy in her date. I find this to be very immature and definitely shows lack of maturity required for a committment. So many want the relationship but they want it their way. As far as I’m concerned a relationship with regular bouts of jealousy is not one that will stand the test of time and the “life span” of the relationship is three to six months at best. I’m the type that doesn’t screw around when I am jealous.

 I do remember reminding someone who they were with many moons ago. Ya bitch, you’re with me and if you want to be with someone else, I’m outa here. No games, no beating around the bush, just straight to the brain to really look at and examine.  I do not care for jealousy from myself or others and I think there should never be room for jealousy.

I think to make another jealous is a deliberate way to cause hurt and uncomfortable emotions between two individuals. I would hope that most adults do not even dabble in the jealousy game because it doesn’t do any good for anyone.