Where Do We Go

I have called the hospital and told them that I want Ryan released today, as a mother I cannot stand to hear my child cry and in such misery. The dr. told me he is basically stabilized on his meds and she didn’t have a reason to keep him there much longer and the insurance wouldn’t pay.

I have given this a lot of thought and Ryan has got to take his meds and that is all there is to it. He has found out that playing games will catch up to him and it has. He isn’t crazy and he has played his manipulation games to his own peril and now he is really depressed because he got caught.

CPS can do nothing for him so I have no choice but to bring him home and I know how the dr.s are in places like that. The Dr. told him maybe next weekend she would let him come home and I know from past experience if you do not act a certain way they use it against you and keep you longer.

You cannot get angry at all and you basically have to do every little thing they say just perfectly or they keep you, it sux but that’s the way it is. I will not let any Dr. “get back at” my son because he didn’t act “right” in her eyes, people abuse their power in all walks of life and you can never trust anyone.

On top of dealing with Ry, this jerk that was supposed to do work for me has ripped me off so bad, the jerk stole saws, my lawnmower, computers are missing and a lot of other stuff. Yes, I filed a police report but he’s claiming I gave the stuff to him so it’s his word against mine and I will probably have to take him to small claims.

Where Is The Laughter

It’s so quiet around the house and there is no laughter, Ry made me laugh and I miss him so much. He will possibly be transferred to another mental health facility for possibly up to ten days. If I refuse to pick him up from the hospital he will be going to a shelter and I cannot let that happen.

I’m so afraid to bring him home and he may try suicide again so I do not know what to do, I just cannot let my child go into a shelter until they can find him a home and if they did find him a home I am afraid that he will kill himself. I want my baby home and this is so hard for me.

This is the time I need “him” I wish he were here to hold me and make me feel something besides sadness, I am a good mom but sometimes I feel like a huge failure. So where has all the laughter gone? Will it ever return to my life? Am I ever going to be with the one I love or is that a pipe dream?

I’m pretty much stuck until after Christmas as I have a court date the end of this month and the end of December to wipe my record clean. Then I will have my life back finally and I can breathe slightly.

Play Politics

This world was once ran by someone you knew but now it’s not only who you know but who you blow. I listen to the debates and it’s clear that Obama is going to win again. Does this make me happy, no but the lesser of two evils is the choice.

Does it really matter who gets in? It’s not like out vote has anything to do with it, the electoral college basically does that. We vote just so the people “think” they have a say, we have nothing unless we fight tooth and nail to get it.

Politicians are basically stupid fucks that are always looking at the bottom line. They don’t care how their actions will affect others. I love how our president is getting a blowjob in the oval office, hell aint that precious-he can say “I’m the only man to get a bj in the oval office and stupid enough to get caught”.
When a man let’s his penis betray him than he is a real idiot, like it or not condom will save child support payments. To many girls live a fantasy life and get knocked up just to get married, I know that is so lame but they can’t help themselves.

A smart man flushed that used condom down the toilet that way he knows he hasn’t left evidence around that she could easy insert into her vagina and get pregnant. It used to be an embarrassment to be pregnant so young but now it’s like it’s normal.

One thing I have noticed is divorced women with kids are really gun hoe looking for a new husband. I don’t know if it’s because it is so difficult or she was used to the second paycheck, but it is happening a lot.

I know a lady that her husband died last year and she has already remarried. I cannot understand that because the thought of marriage scares the hell out of me. I just cannot imagine walking down an aisle without turning around and running like hell.

I am a very difficult person to live with as my multi faceted personality. I am basically an easy going person that goes with the flow but when i do not agree with something I stand my ground and can be quite stubborn.

There comes a time when the right person comes into your view and you must grab the moment as the moments are limited. Why deprive both of you what is meant to be? What are you afraid of? Take a change you have nothing to lose.

Be a man and take me out for my birthday, do you think you can do that or is that out of the question as well?