It’s Coming

The mornings are beginning to be very cold and ice is forming on the windshield of my car, which should be in the garage but once again I am working on the God forsaken riding lawnmower. I do hope to get it running again and I can put the snowblower attachment on it. You have no idea how romantic it can be working on a greasy engine, lol.

Ryan, James and myself went out to dinner tonight and it was a nice evening for a change. Ryan seems to have been shaken up by talking to a friend about what he did the night he attempted suicide. He has been in dismay and shock because he doesn’t remember a lot of that night and that has scared him.

I started seeing a new counselor today, Barbara just got to forceful on her own opinions of how I should run my life. Gina my new counselor explained to me that I was still grieving and that is why I am confused and feeling lost. That explains quite a bit and helps me feel better because I thought I was going crazy.

I am trying so damn hard to put “him” behind me and it isn’t easy but I must do it. I wish he wouldn’t have told me he wanted to be with me and we would be one because it is nothing but a painful lie. It was a pretty dream but all of us have to wake up eventually and it looks like I finally have.

Only The Weak

One thing that has always bothered me a lot is “helpless women”, when a woman acts helpless she is painting a picture of herself as weak and unable to care for herself. Women do not need men to do things for them, some just act fucking stupid.

I cannot stand to watch a woman use a man for a simple tire change or changing the starter on riding lawn mower. Women are more than capable of doing these things if they only took the time to learn. Women love to act stupid sometimes in fact a lot of the times.

A woman should make a man feel needed but not used and so many men feel like they are nothing more than a “meal ticket” for their significant other. Do not expect a man to respect you if you do not show that you respect him in return.

I have been told that I am “mean”, lol by a guy I know-I am not mean I just don’t have time for the games that some men choose to play. I honestly can say I could live on a deserted island and be perfectly happy without dealing with the human odd behaviors that so many have.